The JMEOWW Diaries V.4

Linking up for Jmeoww's life lately! Just kidding, but how great would that be. And by great I mean totally batshit insane.

• The Chronicles of Narnia & Empire State Building. Yes, I've started naming her behaviors. Because it entertains me at 11 pm when I should be sleeping but am watching her adventures on my bed. I realize how that statement sounds, but when I am in bed reading she has the best adventures. Much like how a toddler starts using their imagination, I firmly believe that J has started using hers. She will slowly go under the sheet and then spend like 10 minutes wandering around all crouched down. When she pokes her head out she has this look on her face like she just discovered the meaning of life. She alternates between this, and clinging to the corner of the bed and staring down. Like it is the highest bed ever made and she will die if she jumps. This is why I can't finish a book. It's hysterical.

• Kousin Khloe. My sister has gone full cat-lady. If she wasn't so busy being a cat lady, I'm sure she would blog about it. She's worse than me, if you can imagine that. So when I invited Brittany over for taco tuesday, she sends me this text message:

"I can haz tacos too?"

Like I can say no to that! I warned her of potential murder, but much like Kim Kardashian, Brittany does not travel without Skhloe. So J met her kousin. Which led to hours of hissing all of the hisses and very aggressive crouching. One would think it would get tiring being an asshole all of the time. Khloe touched all J's things and had the best night of her life, and I even sent her home with a toy. I'm an asshole, I know. J only likes one toy anyways, which leads us to...

• Lady. Lady. Mom. Laser. Mom? Please. Now. OMG. As soon as I walk in the door. No. As soon as I unlock the gate to get into my complex, it begins. The meowing. And meowing. So many meows. You have food. You have water. You have clean litter. Okay, FINE. Let's play catch the red dot that you will never ever catch and now your tiny brain is fried from thoughts of ever doing so. Even if it makes you pant because you are fat and it is one million degrees in my apartment. Which leads to me having a panic attack because I think you are dying. No really, this is my favorite game. We should play it ALL NIGHT!

The dying face. I can't stand it.

and finally...

• Bathtime! The animal that hates and attacks everything in the entire world loves the bath. Maybe not loves, but tolerates. What kind of insane bitch bathes her cat? This one, because said cat and said insane bitch cannot get rid of the fleas. Advantage, exterminator, obsessive vacuuming and sheet washing, foggers, and traps. We've tried it all. Anyways, the meoww does not try to kill me in the bath and I think that is just neat. Once I do let her out though, she goes and hides. Last time I found her on top of the refrigerator which is always shocking, but awfully hilarious.

Yes, my fridge is yellow.

And there you have it, faithful JMEOWW fans. Another monthly glimpse into the life of the world's most insane, and overanalyzed cat. Be sure to check back next month for the Halloween edition of JMD!