When my older sister, Jennifer, was 19 months pregnant with her second child, she went to the hospital because she thought her water broke. When really, she had just peed her pants. Add this to the ever-growing list of reasons why pregnancy is horrifying. So they sent her home and told her not to piss her pants again. She made it through Halloween and a couple of days later, went into labor.
But didn't go to the hospital right away. I got multiple phone calls from her while I was in my office, 100 miles away. As she was in labor, walking around the neighborhood having contractions and screaming, and she refused to go to the hospital yet because they will just send me home. After she put on her makeup and fixed her hair, they called me to tell me she was going in. Which is when I left work for the nearly 2 hour drive to the hospital.
I FLEW up the freeway. Flew. And made it to her room just in time to give her a hug and then the pushing began. I thought about staying in the room and then I almost blacked out and ran away. Twenty or so minutes later, my precious jewel was born. I'm going to horrify you and tell you that my sister went all Kourtney Kardashian and pulled her out. Add that to the list. #934583.
Three years ago (tomorrow, technically) miss Rianne Jane was born. Today, she is changing the world of fashion and is a budding comedian. This kid is HILARIOUS. Not like how everyone else thinks their kids are funny and also gifted. But shitshow hysterical and she knows it. For the first two years of her life, she cried when I got near her. Now she realizes that we are pretty much the same human and we can be friends. Except that she is teeny and blonde and obsessed with collecting underwear. I'm not so teeny, or blonde.
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| And to prove I didn't completely omit her from her belated birthday blog, the oldest peepants of them all. |
Happy Birthday, girls!
Adorbs. So adorbs. Almost makes me want a child instead of a cat. ALMOST.
ReplyDeleteIf that little gal wasn't so freaking cute, this post would have freaked me out. Pregnancy. it terrifies me to the core.
ReplyDeletehappy birthday little Miss Rianne.
and happy birthday Peepants Jennifer. ;)
Haha omg that is horrifying knowing that you could pee your pants and think it was your water breaking. Sick. That along with possibly pooping while giving birth makes me want to never have children..ever. Your niece is too cute!
ReplyDeleteOh man, solidfying my resolve to never procreate. Hilarious though! Way too pee your pants too Jen, but understandable at 19 months pregnant. Runs in the fam.
ReplyDelete19 months pregnant??? my hooha is just crying. but SHE, she, is adorable. and between me and you, i pee my pants when i'm not pregnant.
ReplyDeletewow 19 months prego? Um no thanks!! And holy cow Jennider did a Kardashian move...you go Jen!! Happy early and (again) belated birthdays to Jennifer and your niece!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your sister is SO HAPPY you decided to include those sordid details in her birthday tribute post...but I'm more distracted by the concept of "pulling" her baby out of her body. The physics of the situation are eluding me - how could she do pull something out and (hopefully) toward her that was inside and underneath the point where her arms connect to her body?? That's the fulcrum for any force she could apply! She's obviously magic.
ReplyDeleteThis is hysterical! I'm officially terrified to be pregnant. I would DIE if I went to the hospital and they told me I peed my pants!
ReplyDeleteI am horrified that anyone would their own baby out.
Hahahah! That's awesome and hilarious and what a story. But seriously, you don't know!! I was already admitted to the hospital, sitting in bed and just felt wet. I was like, "Um, so...did my water just break...or?" My mom looked under my blanket and the nurse had to change all the sheets. For a second I kinda thought I peed my pants! Pregnancy is gross. But look at that little girl's face!! She's adorable.
ReplyDeletePrecious!! Kinda makes you want to have one, huh?? And I am so thankful both of my girls were c sections. She needs to come over and play with my little shit shows! ;)
ReplyDeleteWho doesn't love a girl who shows a little skin... and i snorted out loud..peed her pants, water broke...the best ever! I love you Tiff. Thank you for being a friend!
ReplyDeleteI am about four days late to this post, forgive me. But OMG, that kid. I die. My best friend's sister just had a baby and I cannot get enough of her-- mostly because I can play with her and snuggle her and have all the fun I want and then give her straight back when stuff starts to hit the fan-- best of both worlds.
ReplyDeleteAnd ps. 'Kardashian'ing your child' should definitely be added to the dictionary.
your niece is just the cutest!! and thank goodness no coppers pulled you over for flying on the freeway, how did you manage to turn your car into a plane by the way and get the flying mechanism to work?
ReplyDeleteawwww, so cute! I feel the same way about my little nieces and nephews.. and I hate that I live far away from them. I need to get over and see them more often..
ReplyDeletethank you for coming by and finding me!! I see your beautiful face all over the place and am shamed that I've never clicked over. Problem remedied! :)
She is so stinkin' cute I can't stand it. I'm sorry you don't live closer to them. I'm pretty much obsessed with my nephew and so glad he's just 20 minutes away.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, she thought her water broke when she really had just peed her pants?! This has got to be the greatest thing ever. But at the same time just shows how nervous we as woman can get over every little detail during that special time!
ReplyDeletexo TJ
Let me just state the obvious, your whole family is adorable. Seriously. I love being an aunt and I can tell you do too. It's going to be so awesome when my nieces and nephews are old and have jobs and they come and pick up their favorite aunt for lunch at Souplantation. I'm going to try to be as eccentric as possible.
ReplyDelete