not even possible!

Day 31 - A vivid memory.

I almost, almost skipped today. Because I fell asleep on the couch last night trying to finish season 3 of Downton Abbey and because I couldn't really think of anything compelling. But it is the last. freaking. day. 18 out of 31 is more than 50% which is a passing grade in my eyes (says someone who barely graduated college).
I've decided to share with you one of my all time favorite life moments. I considered vlogging this but I couldn't imagine saying a certain keyword outloud ever again. So you have to read it instead.
When the twins were in 8th grade (which would make me about 22 years old), I conned my mom into letting me chaperone their 8th grade field trip to Washington DC. Because I love that damn place. I spent a week going nonstop with a bunch of ridiculous 8th graders. Although I was the cool chaperone, because obviously. And also because I let them play hide-and-seek in the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum.
As we neared the end of the trip I was nearing the end of my wits. There were really long stretches of bus time. Too many meals at McDonald's. And not enough diet coke to save my life. I stretched out over my aisle on the bus and told the kids to leave me the hell alone so I could finish reading The DaVinci Code. Which at the time was THE BEST BOOK EVER. 
Somewhere between Gettysburg and Philadelphia on the longest traffic-filled bus drive of our lives, my little sister peeks over my seat and in her not-so-quiet-natural-volume voice asks, rather indignantly, "TIFFANY. What's a queef?"
And then I died. 
I finished reading my paragraph because OMG Robert Langdon was up to something and I didn't want to draw even more attention to this situation. So I slowly turned around and tried really hard not to laugh and be the adult about this. The rows of evil 8th grade boys are giggling their asses off and I knew that they were the entire cause of this situation. 
But I had to be the adult.
"I'm sorry, what did you just ask me?"
She asks the same question. At the same volume level.
"We probably shouldn't yell that. Who told you about that?"
The boys.
"Well maybe they should tell you what it is then!" And then with my bright-red face full of stifled giggles I turned around and started reading again. The next thing I heard was possibly the most hilarious statement I've ever heard in my life. 
In the same booming and indignant voice I hear, "YEA RIGHT THAT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE."
There was no more holding in of the laughter. What do you say to that? To your pre-teen sister who is just learning the ins-and-outs of being a female?
"Please stop talking to me so I can finish this chapter."