Day 10: Your most embarrassing moment(s). Spill.
Spill? SPILL? I wrote about leaky tampon issues and my boyfriend almost catching me changing said tampon. SPILL IS MY MIDDLE NAME.
This is like Christmas morning for me. Okay, here we go.
Once upon a time, when Justin and I were in relationship purgatory, he suggested we go get drinks, as friends! Yay! Let's be friends! Fine. Let's.
I spent the entire day with my younger sister in a tattoo parlor — that we only ended up in because we were bored. We had a really light lunch and of course I had a couple of tall cans while she was getting worked on. This is all just to say I didn't set myself up very well for the evening.
Justin met up with me later and we walked from my apartment to my favorite dive. A friendly walk. Justin ordered a beer. And then this happened.
Me: I'll have a PBR and a shot of Jameson.
Justin: Oh, it's that kind of night?
Me, in my head: FRIENDS NIGHT!
So we talked, as friends, and talked and drank and did more shots of Jameson than I can remember. And then I stood up to go to the bathroom and it all snapped.
Me: I need to go home. IMMEDIATELY.
And then I bolted out the door and started walking home before he could even say anything.
What happened next was not a far cry from that time I ruined vacation. The difference? We were only friends. We had only known each other for about 2 months. And here I am puking a liter of whiskey right in front of him.
So I did that thing in which I lock myself in the bathroom and yell that I AM FINE repeatedly. I begged him to go home. I was fine!
I was not fine. I was wrapped up in a damp bathroom towel and crying mascara out of my nose. I was nowhere near fine.
Justin. That Justin. He didn't leave me. He refused to leave me. He let me sleep in the bathroom for a while because once I am in there, I am in there. And then he dragged me to bed and made sure I didn't die for a few hours. And then he went home. My friend.
To say I was embarrassed is an understatement. When I woke up the next day — in the middle of the afternoon — I thought for sure I would never hear from him again.
SPOILER ALERT: I did.
bahahaha i love this.
ReplyDeleteim a lightwieght. and i DESPISE being hungover. so i've learned my limits and im pretty good about just stopping when i think im about to dive over the edge.
well kirk had never experienced full on drunk michelle and he kept prodding as to why i never get drunk drunk. so it was like...a month or so into our relationship and i just said fuck it, if he wanted puking michelle, he shall have puking michelle.
puked in the bathroom at the bar. promptly walked out and said 'we need to go'
we left. i made it to the driveway and as soon as the truck stopped, i opened the door and puked again. his friend, who happens to be a county sheriff, pulls up and is talking with kirk. kirk tells him im plastered (thanks babe) so officer friend jokinly goes 'uhhh, mam im going to need to see some identification' i get out the truck, start walking to the house and scream "FUCK YOU MIKE"
then i locked myself in the bathroom and wouldnt come out.
drunk michelle is really fun.
this is also the longest comment ever.
I am cracking up. THAT JUSTIN!!!!
ReplyDeleteRelationship purgatory is my new favorite thing, ever.
Relationship purgatory BLOWS >:(
DeleteTIFF.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a meme that I've seen floating around Pinterest. It says, "If you can't handle me at my Lindsay Lohan, you don't deserve me at my Beyonce."
Clearly, he can handle you ...and now let's get drunk.
okay, somehow this embarassing moment is oddly romantic. what a guy justin is :)
ReplyDeletea guy is a keeper when he holds your hair back as you puke your guts up and still kisses you goodnight.
ReplyDelete"I was wrapped up in a damp bathroom towel and crying mascara out of my nose."
ReplyDeletethe visual that gave me made me love you and pity you at the same time. haha Justin is a stud. even as JUST a friend.
I fall in love with Justin more every time you tell one of these stories. You have such an amazing guy!
ReplyDeletei would call these mens of ours saints if i didn't fear it would go great straight to their heads and inflate their already large enough egos.
ReplyDeleteawww....this happen to me too...except it was matt on his 21st bday
ReplyDeleteTIFF. This is hysterical. The mental image of crying mascara out your nose is sending me over the edge. I am so glad you moved past relationship purgatory. I am so glad you have him in your life.
ReplyDeleteYou are the best ever. I die. I love this.
ReplyDeleteI am so sometimes in the bathroom all I AM FINE. FINE. YES THANK YOU FINE.
This is way too funny! I love how you have so many stories and you're connecting them to this one! They are all interesting! I wish I had nearly as much fun as you do, or at least knew how to put it into words!
ReplyDeleteActually I have a giveaway going on right now and I think you are REALLY going to like it! You can win your favorite article of clothing from Mentirosas (an online store)! It's super easy to enter... You should definitely participate;)!
This is the link, if you're interested: Instant Milk giveaway link
Come by soon!
xx
Tiffany...Tiffany....Tiffany....I can't stop laughing to write anything...sorry...tell Justin I am glad he watched you NOT die...sooooooo been there.
ReplyDeletei don't get it. is this supposed to be embarrassing or the perfect beginning to the world's best rom-com?
ReplyDeleteCrying mascara out of my nose!! hahahaha I love you.
ReplyDeletethank you for reminding me why I quit drinking, that is nice of you. #goodfriendaward
ReplyDeleteOh man that sounds so miserable. I've thankfully never yet caught any sort of throwing up sickness since I've been married....and I don't want to! But it is kinda sweet that he stuck with you and made sure you were all right, and the story had a happy ending!
ReplyDeleteI'm no saint, but I'm gonna soapbox for a second: ladies, if you tell your guy to leave you alone while you're in pain/danger/discomfort/puking-your-guts-out-hysteria AND HE DOES - he is a thoughtless, selfish jerk. Let that be the last time he ever leaves and find yourself someone with some decent morals.
ReplyDelete/end soapbox. You're all fantastic. :)
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ReplyDeleteUm this story is fantastic. The first time my now husband andi spent the night together I farted in bed. Yep. It was awesome when he told me about it the next day.
ReplyDeleteAwwww! I had a similar experience with Jacob, when we were just friends too. I was at a party at his house, drunk, making out with my brand new guy (like literally brand new. It was our first kiss) in the backyard, and felt sick. I stopped mid-kiss, turned around without a word, walked into the house, straight into Jacob's bathroom and threw up. I passed out in Jacob's bed, but got up an hour later to tilt my head and throw up all over the floor right next to his bed. I thought I finally had the strength to get up and assess myself, but didn't. I fell out of the bed and slipped on my own puke. Then I used the wall to help me stand, leaving puke hand prints up his very textured wall. The next thing I know it was morning and Jacob was scrubbing the wall trying to get it out of the cracks and crevices. Ewww!!! Why he ever wanted to date and then marry me is beyond me. The new guy and I lasted about two months. He was equally as drunk and slept in his car in Jacob's driveway that night, so he must not have remembered my awkward exit. We are still friends though. He even came to our wedding!
ReplyDeleteBless your heart, girl. Once, hubs and I "lost" a tampon inside of my body because we forgot it was in there when we woke up in the middle of the night to ... ummm ... have marital relations. Nope. Neither of us felt it. The next morning, I was like, "Omigoddddd! There's a tampon lost inside my body!!"
ReplyDeleteBut - that's not the embarrassing moment I wrote about. Instead, I wrote about the time my MIL walked in on us doing it, standing up, while brushing our teeth.
I realize now that this comment makes us sound like freaks. I swear, we are not. :)
This could be my version of naked man story except you can be naked pukey woman.
ReplyDeletevery nice post and i like this ^___^
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