hipster high-kicks.

Sometimes Justin and I buy concert tickets without thinking things through, or without consulting each other first. Which is fine, as they say "When in Rome!" Which also means we have to drive 2-hours away in the middle of a work week to see said concert. Which is also fine. When in Rome. So Tuesday I left work early and we journeyed up to Los Angeles to see one of our new favorite bands Alt-J.

Oh you haven't heard of them?

Just kidding. I won't hipster you. Rather, I'd very much like to share Alt-J with you because they are quite spectacular. And in the fashion of one of my other favorite bands (BONNIE BEAR), you can't understand a damn word they are saying. In a good way, naturally.

Because they are such a different type of music, I was really curious as to what type of crowd would be there. The short answer? LOS ANGELES. 

First of all. We really in all seriousness might have been the oldest people present. I had no idea that the kids would be into this cool of music these days. It seemed mature to me, I guess? But yes, we in fact we the only mature folks present at this venue.

Secondly, we had entered hipster nation. Fine. So we are dealing with a mass of young hipster Los Angelenos, what could go wrong? Nothing went particularly wrong. HOWEVER. I spent 85% of the show distracted by two individuals. I shall call them NUMBER ONE FAN and the Stripster-Hipster.

You guys. YOU KNOW how much I love people and the things they do to unknowingly entertain me. THESE TWO WERE GOLD. Maybe I pre-partied a little too hard. Or maybe they really just had gold running through their veins. Either way, I WAS IN HEAVEN.

NUMBER ONE FAN, NOF for short and yes all in caps-lock because he lived in caps-lock, was the tallest person in the entire crowd. Yes, taller than me. Ya dicks. We were in the upper balcony/old-folks zone so I had a great view of the sea of youngsters below us. And when the openers starting playing NOF went HAM. He was the singular person in the steadily growing crowd that rocked his huge heart out to each and every song. The singular person fist-pumping to every song. And when Alt-J came out, HE HAD TRIANGLE SIGNS (Tesselate is one of their big hits...so triangles...you get it, you do). I lived for him and those triangle signs.

Stripster-Hipster. I don't even know where to begin. From my vantage point, she appeared to be on the younger end of the young-kids crowd. And she danced. AND DANCED. And thrusted. And flipped her hair. And then, to cap off my entire night, she added high-kicks to her routine. HIGH KICKS. Soon a young gentleman joined her (because most of her friends had walked away) in the high-kicking stripper hipster dance routine along the safety barriers and I was practically jumping up and down cheering them on. I mean if Alt-J calls for ANY kind of stripper dancing it is definitely the high-kicks.

Like proper old folks we left early as not to get caught in traffic because old people hate traffic more than anything. And although we were beat the next day, a two-hour drive to LA to see a really, really rad band and the hipster groupies that love them was totally worth it.

ww: rip tiff gee

I keep telling myself, "This is morbid, morbid, so bad." And then I remember when I willingly took a class on the psychology of death and bereavement and remind myself that morbidity is a part of life. And this is no less morbid than when I tell Justin that I want a Viking burial at sea. Or when I tell THAT CAT that I am going to sell her to the neighbors to make her into soup. More to come on that one.

Tiff Gee (March 11, 1983 – August 21, 2013)

Tiffany Ann Gee lost her battle to hemorrhoids, allegedly induced by her breakfast smoothie addiction. It was a catch-22 for her. Without the smoothies, she was "not herself." But with the smoothies, the trauma that she would suffer many hours later made her wonder if it was all worth it. A vicious, vicious cycle indeed. However her bridal weight loss goals did in fact push her to make the decision to continue the smoothie torture. And now a bride she never will be.
Tiffany is best remembered for her knack of creating stories about strangers, mostly at the gym. She was the lead crusader of the "LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS" movement at her place of employment. She would be honored if her legacy was the success of this crusade. Please take this hint, everyone. She was quick-witted, foul-mouthed, and could drink a sailor under a table. She accomplished a little bit of everything in life, yet was a master of nothing. And yes, that was just her face.
Mrs. Gee is survived by her fiance, Justin Dee, who shall never ever marry anyone because Tiffany would want it that way; her lovingly insane bombay cat from hell, jmeoww, who will have no one to cuddle with EVER; her family, which speaking of please post this to facebook so they know of her demise; and her blog friends, although they sent her ridiculous blog prompts once a week that made her very uncomfortable about her mortality.
Please join us this weekend for a Viking burial at sea. 

happy things friday.

Sometimes I let my mind get the best of me. Sometimes like all of the time. So when I am frustrated with life, things including but not limited to humans, employment, and feline alarm clocks really, really drag me down to that place of no return. And then sometimes you will be driving home on the freeway in a totally relaxed state and turn your blinker on and the woman behind you will wildly and rudely wave her arms like she is doing you the biggest favor in the world and then you cry. And then you drink wine all night and then you spend the rest of the week trying not to let those days happen again.

So. Because that happened and because my life isn't that bad at all, I feel like listing the things that made me happy this week. And you feel like reading it or else you wouldn't subscribe to this shitshow.

• When Justin came home with a box of wine (even though I abused this privilege).
• When Angi led me to the glory of etsy clipart and then I spiraled into free font heaven.
• When I finally realized that Kings of Leon had a new single out and it is pretty.
• When we officially booked our wedding designer/coordinator.
• When my friend stopped by my office with a giant flemish rabbit, just to hang out.
• When my nephew and I started our own inside joke about his sister looking like the hyper little lemur guy from Madagascar and how happy that made both of us.
• Seeing my dad interact with my my niece.
• When that hyper little lemur girl called the armadillos "armadillys."
• When this happened.

Toothless, is that you?

• When this girl started blogging again.
• Anytime these girls email me all day err day.
• And also when two of those three girls bullied me into listening to the new Katy Perry pop music song on the interwebs and I actually liked it.

So yes it seems that it hasn't been that terrible of a week after all. I think I will survive, I will. Hey, hey.

Cheers to the weekend!

ww: thanks for stopping by but mostly stay classy.

It's Wednesday which means it's whatever! Everyone's favorite linkup that you too can be a part of! Just email the fine ladies in charge to get on the weekly mailing list. Now you know the secret.
This week's topic: someone or something you take for granted. And as I plan this out in my head, I know I am taking the easy way out. I am. For no good reason. Other than my desire to keep things in my life light right now. Also for no good reason. Because I feel like it, damn it. So the thing that I take for granted? San Diego. The city that I have lived in since 2001 - twelve years you guys. Nearly half of my life for those of us that are bad with math. I have lived in a college town, the beach, in the super-hip part of town, and now in the suburbs. 
And there are so many things I haven't seen or done it is actually embarrassing to admit! I've definitely hit up da clubs and bars if you know what I mean. We are becoming much more familiar with the local breweries. But my list of things I still NEED to do or do as a responsible adult is neverending. Here are a few things on my (or by default mine and Justin's) San Diego Bucket List:

• Visit Julian - a little mountain town about an hour east famous for apple pie.
• Go kayaking or snorkeling in La Jolla Cove. Or take a La Jolla Cave Tour. CAVES!
• Visit the Carlsbad Flower Fields.
• Take a haunted tour downtown.
• Go to another Padre Game at Petco Park.
• Visit the Little Italy Farmer's Market.
• Hike Cowles Mountain & Mt. Woodson.

My mija, Jenna, at the top of Mt. Woodson's "potato chip cliff."

Besides the bucket list, just getting outdoors and enjoying the amazing weather is something that we have been making a bigger effort to do. I mean, it really is amazing. Not that I'm going to get all crazy and visit the beach (SAND. SO MUCH SAND). But we are valiantly trying to get some fresh air and vitamin D. Because we are truly lucky to live in such a beautiful climate and although our couch is insanely comfortable and our netflix queue is neverending, nothing is as rewarding as spending a day outside in America's Finest City. 

In the spirit of learning.

Oh hey, did you know that it is Shark Week? Also known as my least favorite week on television. You see, I have this biology degree and work somewhere that revolves around animals and education. And I don't like to play the biologist card because I've never done field work but I do the reading and the learning and the loving of all things science. So the Discovery Channel's idea of teaching people about sharks? MY NIGHTMARE.

Full disclosure: I actually haven't watched anything from Shark Week yet. Or in years actually. But the social media shitstorm of ignorance that results from what they are airing hurts my shark-loving soul so deeply that I cannot, CANNOT just sit here and ignore it.

This article that I wanted to make love to already made nailed the core issue here. So what is my deal? I aim to educate you, y'all. I present to you - really fucking cool facts or otherwise interesting information about sharks.*

• Sharks have 7 senses. That's right, seven. In addition to the normal 5 senses, they also have a lateral line (to sense vibrations/movement in the water) and ampullae (am-pew-lay) of Lorenzini (which detect bioelectric fields - which all living things produce). Pores that detect electrical fields in the ocean? You can't even be on that level.

• Sharks do not, I repeat DO NOT have to keep swimming to survive. Not all of them. Yes, they have low-blood pressure and swimming aids in bloodflow. However, some are fully capable of spending long periods of time resting on the ocean floor.

• They can have up to 30,000 teeth in a lifetime. Because they break/fall out when they are eating. Because they don't have dainty hands to use utensils. Your teeth would break too...

• Their scales are actually tiny teeth, with the three tooth-layers and all. 

• The largest living shark is the whale shark, growing up to 45 feet long (yes, a school bus). Not a whale, but a shark. I understand how that can be confusing, I do. They filter-feed and don't even have functional teeth in that massive mouth.

And now - things that are more likely to kill you than sharks. All stats courtesy of the International Shark Attack File.

• Dogs. In 2010, 33 humans were killed by dogs. Only 2 humans were killed by sharks.

• Boats. From 1998-2010 an average of 254 humans were killed in boating accidents. Shark attack fatalities? An average of 0.8.

• Lightning. From 1998-2010 an average of 38 humans were killed by lightning strikes. Shark attacks fatalities? 0.5.

Are we noticing a theme here? Guys, sharks are not the worst animals in the world. But they are really fucking cool and you know what? Humans are demolishing their populations and their habitats. Sharks are very, very susceptible to overfishing because they are slow-growing animals that reproduce at a later age. 

What did she just say? Basically it takes their population a long time to recover if we take too many from the ocean. And SURPRISE. We are. We are taking too many on accident (entanglement in fishing gear set out for other animals) or on purpose (sharks are hunted legally and illegally for their meat and fins). And without enough sharks to keep the ecosystem in balance, the food chain would become a complete disaster and the ocean would go to shit. Long story short.

So what can you do? First of all, please educate yourself. I know it is easy to get wrapped up into the OMGSHARKWEEK hype. I know, I do. The Florida Museum of Natural History has an amazing site that is one of my go-tos. The documentary Sharkwater, although melodramatic at times, is a much better movie than anything you will see on Discovery. Secondly, if you eat seafood look for sustainable brands that don't heavily impact populations or habitats. Monterey Bay Aquarium has a great sustainability guide or just ask your waiter at restaurants, they'll totally love you for it I'm sure.

Thank you for allowing me to be a biologist for a moment. And promise me that we will never have to do this with mermaids, okay?

*I can provide citations, if necessary.

My soul-inmate

I wasn't going to do one of those I'M ON VACATION, BITCHES posts.

But...

Bitches, I'm on vacation.