When my older sister, Jennifer, was 19 months pregnant with her second child, she went to the hospital because she thought her water broke. When really, she had just peed her pants. Add this to the ever-growing list of reasons why pregnancy is horrifying. So they sent her home and told her not to piss her pants again. She made it through Halloween and a couple of days later, went into labor.
But didn't go to the hospital right away. I got multiple phone calls from her while I was in my office, 100 miles away. As she was in labor, walking around the neighborhood having contractions and screaming, and she refused to go to the hospital yet because they will just send me home. After she put on her makeup and fixed her hair, they called me to tell me she was going in. Which is when I left work for the nearly 2 hour drive to the hospital.
I FLEW up the freeway. Flew. And made it to her room just in time to give her a hug and then the pushing began. I thought about staying in the room and then I almost blacked out and ran away. Twenty or so minutes later, my precious jewel was born. I'm going to horrify you and tell you that my sister went all Kourtney Kardashian and pulled her out. Add that to the list. #934583.
Three years ago (tomorrow, technically) miss Rianne Jane was born. Today, she is changing the world of fashion and is a budding comedian. This kid is HILARIOUS. Not like how everyone else thinks their kids are funny and also gifted. But shitshow hysterical and she knows it. For the first two years of her life, she cried when I got near her. Now she realizes that we are pretty much the same human and we can be friends. Except that she is teeny and blonde and obsessed with collecting underwear. I'm not so teeny, or blonde.
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| And to prove I didn't completely omit her from her belated birthday blog, the oldest peepants of them all. |
Happy Birthday, girls!
