Whatever Wednesday...are you kidding me with this?
My first kiss? This is what our fearless leaders came up with. Why this offends me more than "My First Time" is beyond me. I should write that down in a notebook somewhere and save it for therapy.
The problem is...I don't remember it. How terrible is that? I think it happened during a game of Truth or Dare at a friend's house after an 8th grade sleepover. 8th grade. Late bloomer, I know. I was painfully, painfully shy. And because I don't remember exact details, I imagine that I chickened out and took a dare. Because if I kissed a boy and any of my sisters found out about it, my life was over.
I also remember taking a dare to write something incredibly vulgar on my friend's driveway with a candle. SO YOU COULD ONLY SEE IT WHEN IT RAINED. I don't know where we got that information from, I just know that I don't think her parents ever forgave us.
At yet another sleepover with yet another game of Truth or Dare, my asshole friends dared the birthday girl's brother to kiss me. Which I TOTALLY chickened out of because he came at me with a mouthful of braces. His braces mixed with my braces definitely would've ended in a 911 call. I couldn't have that kind of scandal on my record. Also how is it fair that I have no choice in that situation? I didn't choose him. It was like low level sexual harassment at that party. Obviously I'm over it...
That is how insignificant that moment in my life was. And while it makes me a little sad that I don't remember my true first kiss, I remember plenty of other kisses. Although most of those led to mascara tears, snot bubbles, and residual pieces of my heart that would take years to repair. But as they say, you have to kiss a lot of toads, AM I RIGHT?
(Clearly I didn't know how to end this post. I apologize for that line up there.)
i dont remember my first first kiss. like i have no idea who the first person was that i legit kissed. so im with ya. maybe we block out the traumatic moments?
ReplyDeletebut then again that would mean that i would have blocked out the one i wrote about. and sadly i remember that shit.
also. side note. YOUR CAR! its a thing of beauty tiff. i think i drooled when i saw stefano this morning.
The guy I shared my 1st kiss with is now gay. Everyone still teases me to this day abt it. They say I turned my first bf gay. We broke up bc he told me he liked guys. We ended up being best friends all through high school.
ReplyDeleteHahah don't worry I barely remember my first kiss too. I like to think of it as my first kiss with my first boyfriend instead.
ReplyDeleteDuring truth or dare?! So, cliche, 8th grade Tiff Gee.
ReplyDeleteWriting with candles on a driveway-- tell me more. I am intrigued.
I really don't remember my first kiss either. I thought I was the only one.
ReplyDeleteThe candle thing is awesome! 6th grade over here, but I was convinced I was in love with him afterwards, even though he lived 2 hours away and we only talked on the phone like four times. I didn't kiss another boy until the summer before 9th grade, and only after he was my boyfriend. Who does that? You gotta test drive first! Haha! Later bloomer over here.
ReplyDeletebraces mixing with braces was one of my worst fears in life for sure. but UNFORTUNATELY i really remember my first kiss.
ReplyDeleteI was 14. It was my birthday. It was awful. I was so disgusted by it I didn't kiss another boy for almost a whole year...and then it was wonderful.....Late bloomer here too. Turned out ok though.
ReplyDeleteHahaha! It's ok, I don't remember mine either. I know who it was with, cause the same boy I married on the playground in kindergarten is the one I dated all the way til we left for college. I assume our first kiss was way too young for either of us to remember it.
ReplyDeleteI am also interested in this candle/driveway/rain thing.
ReplyDeleteJust know this..."low level sexual harassment at that party" will have me laughing FOR DAYS.
Wait, was I there for these event? Because we hung out with the same groups and I don't remember ANY of this haha!
ReplyDeleteI do remember the open or closed dilemma of sophomore year though...
I too. Do not remember my first kiss. I think it happened after a movie, in the back seat after a car or it could of happened after another movie date when it was snowing I'm not actually quite sure...I really have a foggy memory of boys because half the time I was kicking them in the shins.
ReplyDelete^^ ditto what leeann said!!
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking lynette?? but did she have an older brother? I'm so curious now!! and the candle in the rain is awesome!! where was I for that? I will never forget a sleepover at your place and the next morning you all told me I bit Samantha B. because she tried to wake me up hahaha<-- off topic but whatev
hahahaha I am on the same boat as you... I don't remember my first kiss either. I feel bad. But I am guessing it wasn't something I wouldn't want to remember anyway haha
ReplyDeletehaha I love your post, it made me laugh and feel slightly better haha
Your friends are obviously waaaayyyy better at coming up with dares than any one I've ever played with. Perhaps a blog-post idea: a list of possible dares, to help us dare-deficient saps out?
ReplyDeleteIt all starts with a dare...that's how they get ya..
ReplyDeleteSNOT BUBBLES.
ReplyDeleteI will tell you what I told Alissa: my first real kiss was in the parking lot of a church in front of my mother. I'm still scarred. I need a do over.
I need to get some candles...
too many kisses lead to snot bubbles.
ReplyDeleteTiff, you are the funniest girl, the funniest girl. And look at all these comments, you're just famous as shit now.
ReplyDeleteBut I must know.. I must know what you wrote on the driveway and why I didn't know this was possible. Consider it making up for the Mariah Carey snapchat.
my first kiss was in GRADE 9 (total late bloomer) with a guy in an elevator at the mall and for real, i thought he was trying to eat my face. i imagined my first kiss to be soft and gentle, like how i saw in the movies; not this weird gnawing and chewing. yuck.
ReplyDeletewell fine - when was the first time you kissed a girl and liked it?
ReplyDeletekaty perry wants to know.
After my first kiss, the guy threw up.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I just now saw this. But I was totally involved in the incident with asshole friend's brother with braces. And I'm 90% sure that that evening ended with someone walking around with a lampshade on their head. If that's the same sleepover, which I'm pretty sure it was because I can't think of any other asshole friends that would try to make you kiss that boy with braces ;)
ReplyDelete