So throughout my browsing, I see a ton, more like a SHIT ton of tutorials and recipes. And some of them are incredibly helpful. Such as the one that taught me how to easily remove labels from glass bottles. Or the one that taught me how to make tissue tassel garland (helpful, although not easy).
And then some of these tutorials and recipes can best be described as...remedial. FOR INSTANCE, I present to you tutorials and recipes that we need less of.
- TOAST, four ways!
- A different take on the braid (you can show me 27 different french braid tutorials and I still won't be able to do it).
- THE BEST, no really the best ever best mac n' cheese.
- How to stock a bar/coffee cart! <- but what even are these and is it really that hard?
- Buns, buns, and more buns.
- The ONLY smoothie recipe you need! Then why are there 3,001 of them on pinterest? Guys, smoothies: a green, some fruit, liquid base, and whatever seeds or powders you wish to add. It is not a science.
- Cauliflower pizza crust. More like cauliflower not even a little bit like fucking pizza crust so no.
- Painting or glittering bottles, jars, and/or terracota pots. APPLY PAINT TO VESSEL. BOOM.
Truth be told, the toast was what sent me over the edge and inspired this post. It is fucking bread. That you put in a machine. And put a variety of other tasty things on top of. Again not deserving of its own masters program.
Basically, I spend too much time online. What tutorials and recipes have you had enough of?
Basically, I spend too much time online. What tutorials and recipes have you had enough of?
there are recipes for toast? i've never heard of that.
ReplyDeletei'm tired of recipes for salad. don't you just throw in some lettuce, other veggies and some dressing?
-kathy | Vodka and Soda
"I can't stop internetting"- you
ReplyDeleteSo I'm guessing you DON'T want me to send you the pin I just found called "six ways to make kale not taste like salty garbage"? NOTED.
But really, I don't care about the health benefits. If there is no ~dough~ in your pizza, IT IS NOT A PIZZA.
I'm having mashed califlower today (wishing so hard that it was buttery mashed potatoes) and that's actually pretty good. But HOW DARE IT TRY TO BE PIZZA CRUST. It's like the step parent trying too hard. "You're not my REAL crust!! *Angsty teenager door slam*"
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for the people who need a tutorial on how to toast bread. Where is their mother?
I AM LITERALLY LOL'ing at this, Whitney!!! You're not my real crust!!!
DeleteWait, toast? I haven't seen that one... really?? Damn, maybe I've been making toast wrong all these years!
ReplyDeleteBut, screw you and your dislike of cauliflower crust pizza, that shiz is delicious!
Cauliflower pizza crust should be illegal. It's a disgrace to pizza.
ReplyDeleteMy mom totally - TOTALLY - wanted empty beer bottles so she could paint them. She's one of *those people*.
AND THE LAST THING I WANT IS A FANCY CART FOR MY BEER, JUST HAND IT OVER.
THE BEST POST. EVER.
ReplyDeleteI would also like to submit iphone photo tutorials. I see a blog post on it every other day, and yesterday someone tweeted a link to a BOOK on it. You are officially taking Instagram TOO SERIOUSLY.
I'm always weirded out when people ask me how I make some things, then I think maybe they really have ZERO idea in the kitchen? I don't know.
ReplyDeleteLike Steph, I also like cauliflower pizza but I don't need a tutorial on it.
I'm kind of annoyed by the use of the word tutorial.
All iphone camera related things. Stop them.
Everything about kale. I will never like it. Stop trying to make me.
How to make chalkboard anything. You freaking paint it with chalk board paint.
i once saw a tutorial on how to hard boil eggs. stahpat, just stahp.
ReplyDeleteI've watched that, probably 4 or 5 times.
DeleteI WOULD LIKE SOME TOAST.
ReplyDeleteso thanks for reminding me about my lack of carbs. but i love you.
Ohhhh the hair braiding. Bane of my existence. So pretty much yes to all of the above.
ReplyDeleteI love this.. and you.
ReplyDelete-_-
DeleteToast has become a total trend in San Francisco. Its the new Artisinal Food of the moment. It makes me laugh at the ridiculousness while I order and pay for local whole grain fresh baked bread topped with local wild flower honey butter.
ReplyDeleteHaha! This is awesome and exactly why I only use Pinterest as a place to pin things I see online. Sure, I follow people on there, but I don't look at their stuff unless I see it right when I log on. The toast thing cracks me up! I'm over washi tape. And makeup tutorials from people who don't know how to wear it!
ReplyDelete