Step 1: Insert title

Approximately one hour and nine minutes have passed since I sat down to write this. Rather than write something, I have spent: 45 minutes on Amazon looking for a birthday gift; 10 minutes scrolling through my Facebook feed and rolling my eyes; 5 minutes applying to volunteer for the cat adoption center at Petco; and 9 minutes watching jmeoww kill dead the toys I place on her tower just to get her riled up.

Basically what I am trying to say is THIS IS HARD. I have every intention of writing again and sharing our ridiculous and sometimes mundane lives with you but you should see how hilariously violent that cat gets when the sushi toy is on her tower.

I have intentions and things to say. Can we call this a baby step? Yes, lets.

ps - can someone tell me how to make my blog titles UN-green?

pps - yes, jmeoww has moved into a tower and we can't wait to tell you more about it.

testing...

...is this thing on?

STAY TUNED (the three of you that still maybe possibly have me in your blog reader!)!!!!!!

things we need less of.

I spend a lot of time browsing the internet. WHAT. Totally surprising, I know. Next thing you know I'm going to be admitting that I like cats or that I'm getting married.

So throughout my browsing, I see a ton, more like a SHIT ton of tutorials and recipes. And some of them are incredibly helpful. Such as the one that taught me how to easily remove labels from glass bottles. Or the one that taught me how to make tissue tassel garland (helpful, although not easy).

And then some of these tutorials and recipes can best be described as...remedial. FOR INSTANCE, I present to you tutorials and recipes that we need less of.

• TOAST, four ways!
• A different take on the braid (you can show me 27 different french braid tutorials and I still won't be able to do it).
• THE BEST, no really the best ever best mac n' cheese.
• How to stock a bar/coffee cart! <- but what even are these and is it really that hard?
• Buns, buns, and more buns.
• The ONLY smoothie recipe you need! Then why are there 3,001 of them on pinterest? Guys, smoothies: a green, some fruit, liquid base, and whatever seeds or powders you wish to add. It is not a science.
• Cauliflower pizza crust. More like cauliflower not even a little bit like fucking pizza crust so no.
• Painting or glittering bottles, jars, and/or terracota pots. APPLY PAINT TO VESSEL. BOOM. 

Truth be told, the toast was what sent me over the edge and inspired this post. It is fucking bread. That you put in a machine. And put a variety of other tasty things on top of. Again not deserving of its own masters program.

Basically, I spend too much time online. What tutorials and recipes have you had enough of? 

obsession confessions.

Hi, hi, HI THERE. Surprised? Me too. I have good news and bad news. So much bad news, I know, I know. But listen, the bad news is that Justin is working mega-overtime on weeknights and I am considering myself a temporary gaming industry widow. The good news is that I have a lot of time on my hands to do things other than stare at him...like write an actual blog post! Yes, I just told you that you are my second choice. SURPRISED AGAIN?

Beyond the fiance's OT, my own job has been NUTS lately so we are both dealing with a lot of stress. And also still this:

That THING is adapting to a new vet-recommended diet and also dealing with the loss of her precious Justin time. Last night as all three of us laid in bed (yes all three of us, she just really misses her Justin...), I was crying like a pms-d out moron and jmeoww was trying to bite Justin's feet and hissing at him and then I just started laughing maniacally. WE ARE ALL SLOWLY LOSING OUR MINDS.

So basically, to remind myself that life is generally fantastic and that there are things that I love and worth not running away for, I decided to just splooge them all over this here blog.

1. True Detective — aka the new thing to always be talking about. Guys, it is everything the world says it is. Those men are incredible. Two more episodes to go and I might actually really have a panic attack during them. SO GOOD.
2. Cosmos: A Space-Time Odyssey — It's no secret that I am a science loving geekface and the reboot of Cosmos (March 9th!!!!!!!) is just absolutely everything to me, and also Justin. His deep love for King Carl Sagan has reached my heart as well and we are going to geek out so incredibly hard for this. And NdGT is just the absolute best person alive for this show. That's his official nickname.
3. Beck — Is that Beck on my blog? Dear god, it is. It really is. This is what happens when I accidentally look at Pitchfork every once and a while. But really, this album is quite wonderful. I've never been a Beck fan, but I am totally into this. Hear for yourself!
   
   
                            
4. Brown Rice Triscuits — And then I also blogged about triscuits. THESE ARE LIFE CHANGING. They are all I want to eat. The sea salt and black pepper variety. With cheese. Do it. 
5. Clarisonic Mia2 — also life changing. I am finally paying attention to skin that I should've been caring for since basically forever. And thanks to some Christmas gift cards, this little treasure has entered my life. I've only been using it for a week or so, but I love it. And yes, I am aware of what it looks like...
6. Trader Joe's Lavender Lotion — Fact: I am obsessed with lavender lotion. I always use it at night. So when my last bottle (from the lavender farm an hour away) ran out, I panicked because I knew I would never find anything as lovely again. Enter Trader Joe's and this $5ish bottle. So lovely. So cost-effective. 

Remember that time I included triscuits in a collage? It is truly the little things, my friends. The little things that keep us sane and happy. What are your current obsessions? (non-creepy only, please. I'm looking at you, Higgins...)

the jmeoww diaries: V.13

As I sit here typing, the subject of this blog post is howling, howling for attention. She already took a swipe at my arm and I am losing blood as we speak. Hopefully we get through this post before I pass out...

At the beginning of the month I got the dreaded email reminder that it was time for her annual check-up and her flea medicine injection. The vet also sends a ton of specials and coupons and I always check the fine print to see if it says excludes jmeoww gee. We made the appointment and I left the game plan up to Justin, because when it comes to my baby meow I let her run my life, obviously. 

We made the decision to skip the sedatives completely. Because the act of attempting to give them to her stresses all of us out so entirely much that we all nearly break-up with each other. When it was GO TIME, he went on the patio to our storage closet and as soon as he touched the carrier and it made the faintest sound her tailed puffed up and she started distress howling. Because clearly we were going to kill her. I very carefully picked her up by the scruff of the neck and shoved her fatass into the carrier, and off they went. I remained home because my stress feeds her stress and I was already in tears by the time they were out the door. 

I sat with my phone in my lap just in case Justin sent a distress signal. I listened for ambulances in the distance. But 45-minutes later they walked through the door (and I had the bath ready for her because she is traditionally a peepants at the vet). Beyond some minute meow poops in the carrier, she was fine! Tweaked, but fine! I picked her up making sure to avoid the ass region and dropped her in the bath and she just sat there, totally defeated. After some drying by me, I let her go so she could hide and completely reclean herself.

And then the most amazing thing happened. Rather than hide for hours and days, she came back out 30 minutes later and was all WHAT'S UP FUCKERS and laid her still wet self in the middle of our bed. Thanks. We were shocked and also overjoyed because she really has made huge strides and is so much less of a complete derelict than she used to be! SHE IS ALMOST NORMAL. All of Justin's cat whispering is clearly paying off.

That afternoon I required a serious adult nap, which always happens on the couch because hello couch naps are the best. And then the second miracle of our lives happened. Please refer to the photo below and pay no attention to my meaty arm.

You may wonder why you ALWAYS see that blanket. Well, I got it when she was a wee meow and she requires it for mom time. She will literally only have mom time if the blanket is in position.

THREE HOURS YOU GUYS. For three hours she slept on me like that. Maybe I also slept for three hours but that is not the point. And during Superbowl? MORE NAPTIMES ON MOM. I was dying, DYING and in cuddly cat heaven because as you know cuddle time is always intense and never lasts more than 3.5 minutes. I refused to wake her or even move. The only time she would get up was when Justin went into the kitchen because maybe he was getting her cheese or treats or even some toys probably all for her. 

That night she also went on a date, which is probably why she was so tired Sunday. A DATE? Yes, she has a suitor. A HUGE fluffy guy that has been hanging out on the lower patio caterwauling to her. She kept running in and out screeching like a crazy girl on a blind date, which I made a narrative for naturally. They haven't had another date since but I think that her desperation to go out on the patio comes from her deep love for him. Which means we constantly have to sweep up the flower petals that are falling on the patio so she doesn't eat them and vom in my toms again (in other news the flower petal barfing has happened more than once...).

It never ends, the drama. But those two precious days of cuddles made it all worth it. And I do believe my arm needs some neosporin. Until next time, loyal meow fans!