On dating a gamer.

Right at this moment, my beloved boyfriend is playing a video game on his xbox and communicating with his brother in Los Angeles, who is also playing the same game. There is laughter, swearing, odd conversation that I don't understand. Me? I'm blogging (duh), listening to some new tunes, and thinking about putting some pictures in a frame.

This used to be my nightmare. This, once upon a time ruined my entire being. It destroyed my confidence and an entire 5+ year relationship. It pushed me in the direction of another person to find emotional solace and companionship. It kept me up late. Gave me headaches. Made me cry more than a person ever should. I. Fucking. Hated. Gaming. And also gamers. And the assholes who invented video games. And puppies. (I was in a very dark place, okay?)

This is not Justin.

You see, gaming is more than a hobby for my boyfriend. It is his career. His entire livelihood. His reason for moving to California thank you baby jesus for that. And yes, I thought myself crazy for even thinking about entering a relationship with a gamer after the utter hell I went through before. But as THEY say, you can't help who you love and I indeed did fall for a gamer.

Also not Justin.

Girlfriends of gamers, there is a right and a wrong way to do this. And luckily for me, and him, he does it the right way. If you find yourself answering YES to any of the following questions it is time to abandon ship because that type of gaming behavior is not normal.

Has your gamer boyfriend ever chosen playing video games over any of the following:

• Going out in public to be social with friends?

•  Boobs?

•  Food?

•  Intimate adult activities?

Does your gamer boyfriend violently scream obscenities at the television and scream at teenagers via headset?

Has your gamer boyfriend refused to stop playing a game well into the wee hours of the morning? 

I hope that none of these questions had a YES answer for you, but if they did please pack your bags immediately and if you need a place to stay call me. I'm good a post-traumatic gaming-disorder stress-disorder counseling. We all get through it.

He games, I write. Or read, shop online, drink beer, or watch TV in the other room. If I ask him to stop, he does. If I express discontent at the thought of him gaming, he won't. If I'm being a complete asshole-whiny bitchface about it, maybe I need alone time anyways.

Dating a mature, respectable gamer has taught me that there is much more to video games than sawing zombie heads off and humping the remaining corpse. And that you can have a fulfilling relationship with video games in your home. And sometimes you can download freaking sweet games of your own to the xbox, like Peggle and become a Peggle Master. Which is probably my proudest accomplishment so far.

Silver linings weekend.

Friday night I finally, FINALLY saw Silver Linings Playbook. And here I sit on Sunday night still thinking about it and tearing up looking through gifs and photos. My heart still so full and so broken from this film. Just believe me when I tell you that it is incredible. Bradley Cooper. Jennifer Lawrence. Robert DeNiro. Jacki Weaver. All so absolutely incredible. So wonderful that I would even allow Bradley Cooper to win the Oscar over Daniel Day Lewis. THAT GOOD.

Without getting in to it too much or giving away fine details, this movie tackles mental health issues in a way that a movie never has before. Nothing too serious, too unrelatable. Actual issues that people struggle with daily, that I have struggled with and that someone you know has struggled with. That is what makes this film so genuine and so heartbreaking. That we all have been there and we all will go back there, unwillingly and unknowingly. It is not a Rom-Com; it is a movie that will shake you to the core and fill your heart with life.

But enough of THAT talking about feelings and the like. I mean, that's not what you come here for. You come here to read about shitshows. So here is a shitshow story.

My best friend came to see our apartment for the first time since I moved to the great north (20ish minutes away). You see, I used to live two blocks from her. We used to walk over to each other's bachelorette pad or meet up in the middle for Thai or Mexican, or a drink. So this was our first official bestie night in Mira Mesa. 

Mira Mesa is a far cry from the hip neighborhood which she still inhabits. It is, dare I say, suburban. So we chose the fine establishment of El Torito for dinner, which has all night happy hour. LITTLE DID WE KNOW, Friday nights at the El Torito in Mira Mesa are CLUB NIGHTS YOU GUYS! Upon entering the bar area, we got carded by a BOUNCER. And then we were nearly defeaned by a variety of Pitbull jams and various other Top 40 hits from 2011. We genuinely shouted across the booth at each other to try to have normal conversation.

My absolute favorite part of the entire ordeal were the MOMS out for a crazy ass Friday night in good 'ol Mira Mesa. One lady, with a killer hair piece, even got grinded on by an ethnic man in a denim-on-denim ensemble. Dare I say they got jiggy with it? They sure did.

Denim-on-denim aside, it was an entertaining and interesting start to our Friday night which was finished with the viewing of an INCREDIBLE MOVIE GO SEE IT NOW. Have I made my point yet?

Blogging can't buy you class.

Besides hashtag abuse and GETTING REAL, my next favorite thing about blogging is blogging tips. So I thought on this fine Friday I would share a little tip of my own.

Blogging about brazilian waxing and culos gets you PAGEVIEWS! Okay, only 2. But really internet, this is what you think of me? I die.

Also, this is my new favorite thing...

I accidentally watched three episodes of The Real Housewives of Atlanta and it has now become my life mission to be Phaedra. Or at least do that move. Apollo had a name for it...anyone remember?

And that is all I have for you on this fine Friday. Stay classy, blogville.

The jmeoww Diaries V.6

Well hello there, fans of the one and only Miss Meoww! It has been far too long since our last JMD, and for that your highness apologizes (although unsincerely). You see, she has been extremely busy settling in to her new home with her boyfriend and developing a daily routine much like any other obsessive compulsive cat.

Her day begins when I wake up, or sometimes when she chooses to wake me up two hours early. Not for food though, just to say hello and get some early morning cuddles that end with her biting my hand off. When I head to the kitchen to start coffee, she is usually still in her bed and she meows at me to pet her. So I do and then she gets up and chases me into the kitchen while biting my ankles.

There was a time when you couldn't even touch her while
she was in bed. PERSONAL SPACE, BITCHES.

Her next job is to wait for me outside the bathroom door while I shower. Once I am done showering, she can go back to sleeping under the couch until it is time for Justin to be woken up.

<insert 8-10 hours of sleeping>

I usually get home from work first and wake her up. She slowly trots out to greet me and falls at my feet for me to pet her. You do not walk any farther into the apartment until this has happened or it ruins her night. When our boyfriend gets home she runs to the door and falls at his feet for pets. Yes, he greets her first. Which I am okay with because I'm not really looking to lay on the floor at his feet by the door. Yet.

And then playtime begins. In her tiny kitty brain. While we are trying to do stupid human things like go to the gym or cook dinner or clean IT IS PLAYTIME CAN'T YOU HEAR ME MAKING ALL OF THESE NOISES?

Once she realizes that human things must be done, she settles in to hovercat position on the couch unless she hears a cheese bag open. Holy shit, do not loudly open any type of plastic bag because IS THAT CHEESE AND CAN I HAVE SOME? You will never hear a louder meow than when shreddy cheese is being opened. Or bags that sound like shreddy cheese. Or even say that word cheese and her fatass comes running. It's my new favorite thing.

When we sit down to eat (yes, on the couch) it is playtime YAY! While we eat, she sits in the corner by the front door and whines and smacks her tail against the wall to signal that it is playtime because you guys come one you've been home for 45 minutes and we haven't played not even once! Until we are done eating, she will either pout in the corner or jump on the coffee table and knock down/touch all the things. That remote? ON THE FLOOR HOW FUNNY!

When we, the humans, decide that it is playtime (or she has provoked Justin enough by running at him at full speed or attacking his feet) total chaos ensues. At the sound of one of us thinking about picking up the laser pointer, this happens:

This laser pointer situation is out of control, you guys, and I'm not sure it is healthy at all. She is a textbook addict. When we finish playing laser and set it on the coffee table, she lays with her paws on it. In real life.

And speaking of addictions, thanks to some fine smuggling by Michelle we have the nips back in our house. When we aren't feeling up to entertaining a cat for 3 hours straight, we bust out the nips and it takes care of life for us. Most of the time she will chill out after running around at full speed. Other times she doesn't stop running around, ever and we have to pull an intervention and remove the nips from her environment.

Between her meticulous daily schedule, OCD, and addictive personality the JMEOWW has been quit busy lately. In general, I feel like since moving in with her boyfriend she has been less stabby. But she is so much more of a needy girlfriend than I am and for that I am grateful. Thanks for making me look good, clingermeoww.

Oh, and she played some Trivial Pursuit.

The time has come.

I'm going to be honest today. This is one of those days where this blog gets real, you know? Because that's what blogging is about...getting real. (side note: I love when blogs say they are getting real...discuss!)

Anyways, if you saw some of my tweets this weekend you probably thought to yourself, Tiffany has officially gone mad. Bitch is in Los Angeles. At a WWE event. On a Friday night. AT A WWE EVENT.

Well, friends. Now you know. Now you know that back in the day I was the world's biggest WWF fan. As a product of the late 80s and 90s, I had to be. When I didn't have to be was the late 90s to the early 2000s. But I was.

You see, my cousin and I managed to befriend a local wrestling group (few of which moved on to big quite big stars, cough, John Cena, cough). The somehow being our good looks and charm. This led to years of shenanigans and stories I could tell for DAYS. Most importantly, this was how I met my BFF and how she met her husband. Over the years our interest faded and we grew out of it. Kind of.

Fast forward about 10 years to my 5-year old nephew discovering wrestling. And becoming OB. SESSED. The kid wrestles pillows, for shit's sake. When I heard of his blossoming love my first thought was, oh shit...oh shit now I'm going to have to tell Justin about my past love. FOR SHAME. But nothing is more entertaining than my nephew and his little friends reenacting all of the wrestlers entrances and gimmicks (see, I know the lingo still). It is hysterical. Shit gets serious.

So this is how I ended up in LA on a Friday night at a WWE event. And would you even believe me when I told you that I nearly cried watching him watch wrestling? Walking down the scary ass streets of LA, dressed in all of his John Cena gear with a championship belt slung over his shoulder. Telling people that he was the champion. I. DIED. Watching him watch his heroes, half filled with wonder and the other half with maybe a little bit of fear. You never forget seeing your heroes for the first time. And I was thrilled to be able to watch him see his. Even though they do represent a part of my life that shames me in such a way. Totally worth it.

Back in the day with The Miz & John Cena. I know...I know.
And then Friday night. The real champion!

Linking up with Leeann & Sami!