But they suffered so!

When my mom told 8 year-old Tiffany that she was pregnant BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE with twins, I threw a pillow at her and ran upstairs and cried. Like any other rational child my age would've done! Um excuse me mother, but you are bringing not one, BUT TWO nasty tiny babies into my queendom? She is lucky it was just a pillow.

That right there happens to be my mom's favorite story to tell everyone in the entire goddamned world. And those two nasty tiny babies turned 22 yesterday and we spent the weekend celebrating.

The thing is, they really do have one of those amazing birth survival stories that you see on TLC and shit. Except my mom knew she was pregnant so they weren't born in a bathroom. Without getting too graphic here because I know how we like uterine talk around these parts, these girls had nothing separating them in the womb so they could've been siamese (which is only funny now, not then) and they were incredibly high risk. In her 5th month of pregnancy, my mom was ordered to stay in the hospital on bedrest, and two months later they were delivered in the wee hours of the morning via emergency c-section. Why? Because Brittany was trying to strangle Brooke. The weird part? She still is.

The first few weeks of their lives were spent in incubators in which they looked like tiny frogs. So yea, you could say they had a rough start. So growing up my mom had a little saying, sometimes serious but mostly sarcastic..."But they suffered so!" Indeed, mother. And now we all have to.

Little sisters are truly a clichéd blessing and curse. You get to be the cool one that takes them to concerts and tells them what music they should be listening to. You get to chaperone their 8th grade field trip to Washington DC. You get to wear their clothes that one time that you were skinny enough to. Oh, and you have an automatic designated driver!

But you also have to watch them make the same mistakes you did and pull your hair out and be all OH MY GOD DID YOU LEARN NOTHING? Their freshman year of high school when you say, "Don't date my ex-boyfriend's little brother!" and then they immediately do? When you tell them that your world shouldn't revolve around a boyfriend and that they are too young and for the love of buddha please stay in school? And for fuck's sake SAVE YOUR MONEY. They don't listen. They don't listen, and they fail, and their hearts break and so does yours. Just like yours did, and just like theirs will continue to.

And all you can do is listen. And not say I told you so. And let them sleep on your couch for a few weeks. And remind them that they are beautiful, and talented, and so full of love and that they never have anything to be insecure about. 

And then continue to shame them for chewing with their mouths open and liking the Kardashians.

Amazing photo templates free from Silly Grrl!

Silver linings weekend.

Friday night I finally, FINALLY saw Silver Linings Playbook. And here I sit on Sunday night still thinking about it and tearing up looking through gifs and photos. My heart still so full and so broken from this film. Just believe me when I tell you that it is incredible. Bradley Cooper. Jennifer Lawrence. Robert DeNiro. Jacki Weaver. All so absolutely incredible. So wonderful that I would even allow Bradley Cooper to win the Oscar over Daniel Day Lewis. THAT GOOD.

Without getting in to it too much or giving away fine details, this movie tackles mental health issues in a way that a movie never has before. Nothing too serious, too unrelatable. Actual issues that people struggle with daily, that I have struggled with and that someone you know has struggled with. That is what makes this film so genuine and so heartbreaking. That we all have been there and we all will go back there, unwillingly and unknowingly. It is not a Rom-Com; it is a movie that will shake you to the core and fill your heart with life.

But enough of THAT talking about feelings and the like. I mean, that's not what you come here for. You come here to read about shitshows. So here is a shitshow story.

My best friend came to see our apartment for the first time since I moved to the great north (20ish minutes away). You see, I used to live two blocks from her. We used to walk over to each other's bachelorette pad or meet up in the middle for Thai or Mexican, or a drink. So this was our first official bestie night in Mira Mesa. 

Mira Mesa is a far cry from the hip neighborhood which she still inhabits. It is, dare I say, suburban. So we chose the fine establishment of El Torito for dinner, which has all night happy hour. LITTLE DID WE KNOW, Friday nights at the El Torito in Mira Mesa are CLUB NIGHTS YOU GUYS! Upon entering the bar area, we got carded by a BOUNCER. And then we were nearly defeaned by a variety of Pitbull jams and various other Top 40 hits from 2011. We genuinely shouted across the booth at each other to try to have normal conversation.

My absolute favorite part of the entire ordeal were the MOMS out for a crazy ass Friday night in good 'ol Mira Mesa. One lady, with a killer hair piece, even got grinded on by an ethnic man in a denim-on-denim ensemble. Dare I say they got jiggy with it? They sure did.

Denim-on-denim aside, it was an entertaining and interesting start to our Friday night which was finished with the viewing of an INCREDIBLE MOVIE GO SEE IT NOW. Have I made my point yet?

The time has come.

I'm going to be honest today. This is one of those days where this blog gets real, you know? Because that's what blogging is about...getting real. (side note: I love when blogs say they are getting real...discuss!)

Anyways, if you saw some of my tweets this weekend you probably thought to yourself, Tiffany has officially gone mad. Bitch is in Los Angeles. At a WWE event. On a Friday night. AT A WWE EVENT.

Well, friends. Now you know. Now you know that back in the day I was the world's biggest WWF fan. As a product of the late 80s and 90s, I had to be. When I didn't have to be was the late 90s to the early 2000s. But I was.

You see, my cousin and I managed to befriend a local wrestling group (few of which moved on to big quite big stars, cough, John Cena, cough). The somehow being our good looks and charm. This led to years of shenanigans and stories I could tell for DAYS. Most importantly, this was how I met my BFF and how she met her husband. Over the years our interest faded and we grew out of it. Kind of.

Fast forward about 10 years to my 5-year old nephew discovering wrestling. And becoming OB. SESSED. The kid wrestles pillows, for shit's sake. When I heard of his blossoming love my first thought was, oh shit...oh shit now I'm going to have to tell Justin about my past love. FOR SHAME. But nothing is more entertaining than my nephew and his little friends reenacting all of the wrestlers entrances and gimmicks (see, I know the lingo still). It is hysterical. Shit gets serious.

So this is how I ended up in LA on a Friday night at a WWE event. And would you even believe me when I told you that I nearly cried watching him watch wrestling? Walking down the scary ass streets of LA, dressed in all of his John Cena gear with a championship belt slung over his shoulder. Telling people that he was the champion. I. DIED. Watching him watch his heroes, half filled with wonder and the other half with maybe a little bit of fear. You never forget seeing your heroes for the first time. And I was thrilled to be able to watch him see his. Even though they do represent a part of my life that shames me in such a way. Totally worth it.

Back in the day with The Miz & John Cena. I know...I know.
And then Friday night. The real champion!

Linking up with Leeann & Sami!

Weekend link round-up round-up

Guys, guess what. WHAT? We are on our way to a WEDDDDINGGGGG. Wedding #6 to be exact. The wedding of Justin's brother. In which I will be meeting the rest of the family. And acting as ladylike as possible.

Your prayers are appreciated.

I don't know about you, but I love me some link round-ups. Here are some of my favorite Friday link round-up posters, since I was too lazy to collect links of my own this week. Disclaimer: This is me hoping they post link round-ups this week. It usually happens. I should just calm down.

Bungalow960

The Fug Girls

Dooce

The Everywhereist

Any other linkages I'm missing out on?

Hoping you all have wonderful weekends that don't involve meeting important family members at an important family event while wearing new high heels!

We went to Vegas and came back unmarried!

Well, we somehow managed to return from Vegas relatively unscathed and very much so unmarried. I know, I know. Some of you were hoping that I would get him drunk enough to hop in a cab and go to the drive-through wedding chapel. Okay so maybe I am the only one. Whatever. But really, this might have been the best weekend of my life.

When we arrived on Thursday we headed to check Justin in for his convention (which I will not be going into detail here because although it was mind-boggling and often hilarious, these are the people that keep him employed and are therefore off-limits. But if you are interested, it was SOE Live. Google will do the rest). Because we were starving we ate at the closest place we could find, Le Burger Brasserie. Where I quickly decided that the 100 ounce tower of beer would be the most economical way to get drunk. Because above all, I am an economical drinker. 

Okay, I just forgot everything else that happened that night. It was a long time ago, really.

Friday we wandered the strip most of the afternoon and managed to get DAY DRUNK, BITCHES. Which Justin announced multiple times. MULTIPLE times. We had some "walking beers" and I played my favorite game, "Is that what my ass looks like?" The answer is usually, No. This was a great opportunity to show Justin the great ways of penny slots. And he was instantly addicted. 

While I was getting ready for dinner Justin played his favorite game, "Drink along to the Boston drinking songs!" So by the time we finished up dinner at Margaritaville and had too many of their powerful, fruity, and acidic concotions Justin was down for the count. Which was fine because I wanted to resume my important mermaid time in the jacuzzi tub. I also learned that if you plan on spilling a full drink on your lap, it is best to do so wearing a pleather skirt. That shit just wipes right off. Incredible!

Saturday saw much, much more gambling. Much more day-drinking on my behalf (he had some work to do in the afternoon and had to hold off). And much more mermaid time, this time with BUBBLES! Saturday night was our fancy night and we went to Gallagher's Steakhouse in our hotel. They are famous for doing something to their meat that I still don't understand, but I do know that it makes it taste amazing. It was most definitely the nicest dinner that anyone has ever taken me to. He does things like that, this guy right here.

And then we spent the rest of the night playing slots! We of course nerded out and played the Lord of the Rings, Ghostbusters, the Dark Knight, and many more. And the Hangover slots are the coolest. But we were most successful on a system that features "group play" in which everyone gets a bonus! Because it's the damn bonuses that keep you going, and going and hold on I need to go get more cash.

I have this embarrassing habit of talking to the old people that sit next to me at machines. And I cheer for them and get all involved in their business. Because I know that one day that will be me and some young bitches better be cheering for me when I win $3 on a bonus round.

We also eventually started yelling at the machines. And scaring questionable people away from us. I guess when you are sitting next to two nicely dressed people yelling "Fuck you, HORSE!" during the bonus round in a slot machine where $6 is at stake, you might get a little creeped out too. But really, we did pretty well and if I wasn't such a poor gambling influence we might have walked away with more money.

It was a spectacularly fun and oddly enough, relaxing weekend. Blackout curtains, a king size bed, and a jacuzzi tub will do that to you. Until next year, Vegas. You did us good.

And, we're off!

Holy hell, FINALLY. I thought this vacation would never come. I haven't had a vacation since April (Oh, my first blog post!)! I am going to make the best attempt I can to detach from my cell phone so I can focus on having fun and also my blackjack hands. Also, I hear if you drop your cell phone in a jacuzzi tub it breaks. So it will stay somewhere safe.

In my absence, please peruse some of my favorite old posts.

Gal Pal weekend in Palm Desert

A Magical Night

So this mom walks into a bar...

Only almost a month later...

The JMEOWW Diaries V.1

And if you miss Justin too you should visit his writing space, Pixelated Trip. He's a smart one, that man of mine.

I'll be back on Monday with some (hopefully entertaining) Vegas stories!

I should be watching The Walking Dead...

Life without cable is weird, you guys. But I'm not even sure I want to watch The Walking Dead anymore because the only good character isn't even alive any longer. Yes, I am talking about the love of my life, Shane. Let's argue about him. It's my favorite pastime.

I also just realized how productive I was this weekend with Justin being out of town. You know, you really can get so much accomplished when you aren't sitting around staring at your adorable boyfriend. This weekend I:

• Celebrated a friend's birthday at a place called Sushi Kuchi. Which has kuchi sauce. Or you can order the kuchi boat. Or the kuchi taco. The chefs shouted something (we like to think they were saying "kuchi") every time someone walked through the door. They also wore afro wigs which was especially hilarious when a man with a real afro walked in.

• Organized and packed more of my hoard while doing laundry.
• Had lunch with my friend Kathrin of Shop.School.Sleep at Baja Betty's.
• Saw Pitch Perfect and loved it so very much. Rebel Wilson is hysterical.

• Celebrated another friend's birthday at Bar Pink in North Park, the ultimate hipster bar.
• Watched a total of 7 episodes of Cold Blood on Netflix and then convinced myself that someone was hiding in my apartment when I returned home Saturday night.
• Cleaned the apartment and threw away more of the hoard.
• Ran more errands (including cashing in my change at a Coin Star much to the dismay of everyone at Albertson's. Sorry my change is loud, but I now have $45 and y'all don't...) and had brunch at Snooze in Hillcrest.

So many accomplishments in one weekend! All completed just in time to pick up Justin from the airport so I can resume staring at him in the least creepy way possible.

Ball. So hard.

Ladies, and maybe gentlemen, of the internets. If I had to choose one image, and only one image to describe Tiffany this would be it.

                                                                            Source: theyallhateus.com via Tiffany on Pinterest

Ladylike and ghetto, all rolled into one. Every now and then, the ghetto really comes out. You can take the girl out of Chino, but she will still know all of the words to every Kanye West song and want to shout "TWO CHAINS" at inappropriate moments.

If you really want to annoy my boyfriend play some hip hop music. Or suggest performing a Jay-Z & Kanye song at his best friend's mother's 50th birthday party. Because we have been asked to perform a song.* What the heck would you do in a situation like that? Rap, right?

(Seriously though, what would you sing in that situation? Not karaoke, mind you. Full-blown live performance. Extra credit if you fly out and take my place.)

Anyways, here is some friday linkage love for you:

The best films of the 90s. We all know my record with movies (hint, its not great) so I've only seen #1-4, 16, 25, 34, & 39. I've seen more of the honorable mention titles, naturally.

Christopher Walken reads Honey Boo Boo. Enough said.

OKCupid posters = hilarity. You know my thoughts on online dating.

I'd like to enroll in Monsters University please.

Ball hard this weekend, everyone. I won't fine you.

Happy Birthday, Momma!

Many, many years ago on this date my mother was born. She was raised on a farm in Minnesota and we know this because any time we visit a petting zoo she reminds us. She's also really good at Farmville and also Pioneer Trail and could you maybe send her one barrel of massage oil so she can rub her pigs?

My mom is one of the most generous, selfless people in the entire world. She will never say "no" even if she only slept two hours last night and already has a full schedule.

She raised four girls, and we turned out only a little bit crazy but still make her full crazy. This weekend we taught her about Brazilian waxing as well as culos. Which she learned is NOT something you put your drink in to keep it cold. She also bonded with a lesbian at the neighborhood bar this weekend so she is totally cultured now.

She is just a really great lady and we are lucky to call her Momma. Happy Birthday, Mom! And yes, I am her favorite.

"Is Justin Timberlake Jesus?"

The above quote was said my none other than yours truly after we finished watching Southland Tales, yet another one of Justin's favorites. "Why do you keep watching all of his favorite movies and none of yours?" you might be asking yourself. Because he has already seen all of my favorites, naturally (with the exception of Bridesmaids which I am quickly trying to fix). Otherwise, he has seen ALL THE MOVIES.

Anyways, I got to thinking about Jesus. And Justin Timberlake, as one does. Here is my question: What if when he brought sexy back he really meant christ? I leave you to ponder that for the weekend. And also ponder these links.

I watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy, much to Justin's entertainment.

My favorite halloween costume idea so far.

"Shut up. I'd like to see how you'd react after your 10-month-old with a gorgeous head of thick locks just lost "Best Hair" to a bald child." 

It's good to know Hills is trying to figure out what's up with X-tina's boobies too. 

Raw crystal. It's all I want for christmas. So many jewels.

It's been a rough week, as you all read and laughed along with me. Thank you for dealing with my overshare, and oversharing along with me. We'll be back to normal blogging next week!

Asserting dominance.

For the first time, in a long time, we will not be mentioning the "w" word here on this blog. No, we did not witness any unions this weekend, but we did go nonstop from Friday to Sunday. Justin's brother and fiance were in town, and it was nice to spend some quality time getting to know them a little better. And by quality time I mean watching the worst movie ever made and witnessing the brothers' Bane impressions until I forced Justin to call it a night.

Saturday we all went to the San Diego Zoo's Safari Park to sweat all the sweat in the world. We will not talk about the "w" word for a while, but we will continue to talk about sweat until this heat breaks. We arrived just in time to see the gorillas emerge from their den/cave/air-conditioned suite. The great thing about the park is that most of the animals are not behind glass or fencing, so you really get a good look at them. When the big male came out, we all gasped. It was unreal. And then he took this posture and we all watched in awe. What will he do next?

And then he proceeded to take a shit and look around at us, forcing eye contact as he continued to do his business. We get it. You are dominant. You can stop now. Or go behind a bush! We were ready to run in case he decided to further assert his dominance and throw it in our direction. Luckily there was this little guy to make up for getting figuratively shit on.

BABY GORILLA. I challenge you to find something cuter. Oh, wait I already did. There was also a baby elephant. If we could have put those two together, my heart would've exploded from glee.

After a few hours of sweating and looking at really cool animals (some critically endangered, but I will spare you the talk about how we are all ruining the planet but omg did you know that only 7 northern white rhinos remain in the entire world, all in captivity? SEVEN), we went home to de-sweat and switch gears to celebrate a friend's birthday.

This is becoming one of those "and then" posts. And then we finished season 2 of Sherlock Holmes and my mind was sufficiently blown. And then we went to buy halloween costumes and giggle over the male models on the packaging. And then we completed yet another weekend of busy-ness and awesomeness. And then I realized that I have issues concluding posts. Boop.

Effin Friday: Wedding Bloopers

And now you're all, "this bitch is STILL talking about weddings?" Yes. I am. Here is why. It is Friday. Thursday I was forced by my evil bootcamp coach to run up and down these stairs for 30 minutes. Oh wow 30 minutes, right? The entire time I kept repeating to myself, "skanky vegas dress...skanky vegas dress..." It was still awful.

This is about 1/4 of the evil stairs.

I had planned to reflect on weddings and romance and wedding planning (because did you know I went to 5 weddings in 10 weeks?!?!), but I can't feel my legs. So instead, please enjoy these lovely photos. Also known as bloopers. Also known as open bars lead to great photo opportunities.

Wedding #1

Wedding #2

Wedding #3

Wedding #4

Wedding #5

And with that, I wish you all a lovely and relaxing weekend.

You guys, it's over.

Yes, it is true. Wedding Bonanza 2012 has officially ended. Until December. What will I do with all of my free time?!? Wait, there is no such thing. I am booked up through November. This must be why people do drugs.

Back to wedding 5/5! This was the wedding of my friend Kyle, and his lovely now-wife Jamie. Kyle is a friend from my high school job and a few years ago his job brought him to San Diego. We've literally grown up together and he has always been one of my most favorite people in the world. I can't blame him for choosing the hottest day in the world to get married.

Apartment planners really need to reconsider AC placement.

We talk about sweat a lot on this blog, I know. But seriously in the 10 years I've lived in San Diego, I have never experienced temperatures above 100 degrees. There was no way to gracefully deal with it. As evidenced above. Luckily Justin's apartment has AC so I got to have my Marilyn moment. Dreams come true, you guys.

Was that tangent #2? Does it seem like I'm avoiding the topic at hand here? Maybe I am. Maybe because an ex-boyfriend (that I kind of have a strange history with. Not kind of. Totally.) was at this wedding and him and Justin immediately bonded. THE ENTIRE NIGHT. I literally had to shush Justin when the ceremony began. Omg you two can talk after, seriously calm down. I'll meet you two when you are done taking BFF pictures in the photobooth. No, it's fine you two hang out I'll just continue to deal with my awkwardness by drinking. All the drinks.

Yes, I was incredibly awkward about it. But you know what's really great? Justin wasn't, at all. And that is something that I cannot take for granted because a lesser man would've been a complete asshole about it or just as awkward as I was. Did I mention I was being awkward about it? And when they exchanged phone numbers and probably secret handshakes, all I could do was laugh. I'm pretty sure this is what being an adult is. Dealing with life's really strange moments gracefully. Or with whiskey.

My favorite moment of this wedding happened as I was dancing with one of the groomsmen, yet another hometown boy who is know a full-fledged hipster, the Brooklyn kind. This is probably one of my favorite conversations of all time.

him: Tiffany, DANCE!

me: *dances*

him: NO, not like that! Dance better.

There is no dancing better when you've been taking whiskey shots and are in 4-inch heels. There is only balancing.

And because this post isn't long enough, I'd also like to mention that in my hungover state on Sunday, Leeann and I met Christina! For brunch with bottomless mimosas! My first time meeting a blogger IRL was everything I hoped it would be and I've decided that if she lived in San Diego, we would be super friends. 

And now I'm going to crawl back in bed.

That Time I Didn't Get Engaged.

That title? IT'S FINE. At some point this weekend, Justin referred to me as "the woman he is going to marry" to which my friends of course made the decision that he had actually proposed and then posted messages of congratulations on my facebook wall because they are complete assholes that I love dearly. Let's talk about how much my mom appreciated that. Humorous, I realize. But also, he says stuff like that. Which is why he totally wins. He also accompanied me on a 29-hour whirlwind of celebrations that we survived, yet again.

Friday night we celebrated Emily's 30th birthday at Medieval Times. We did not, luckily, have to put chicken skin on our face as she intended us to. And no one got kicked out or arrested, as we thought they might. They did sincerely piss off one of the knights, who are way too sensitive in my opinion. The master of ceremonies did know Emily by name by the beginning of the event. Possibly because she got knighted as a wench. Possibly because Medieval Times is her "Disneyland," which would make so much more sense if you had an Emily in your life.

I normally wouldn't post a picture of Justin
being a total perv, but omg EMILY. 

After a wild evening of drinking ALL THE BEER and some of the whiskey in Buena Park, we woke up early to head back to San Diego to get glamorfied to go to a wedding. Because, WEDDINGS. This was #3 of 5 for the summer (#6 is in December so I haven't counted it yet). This was our dear friend Maggie's wedding to her childhood crush that she reconnected with in a bar. The ceremony was held at a park overlooking all of San Diego and it was gorgeous.

Attending all of these weddings is teaching me many do's and don'ts although as I repeated yet again, I don't want one of these. Besides the obvious, two seriously amazing things happened that may not have been so hilarious if we had our full mental capacities intact.

1. Maggie's brother lives in Japan so he could not be present but he sent a video they played during the reception. It started out very sweet and witty, and then his small child starting pushing his way in to the frame and her brother gently shoved the little guy away stating, "They practically raise themselves." Perfect. By the end of the video the tiny child was all up in the frame and it was so sweet and genuinely hilarious. I might make one of my sisters not come to my non-wedding just so I can have a fun video.
2. A very much older couple seriously getting their groove on. They were having so much fun and my heart exploded with glee. I don't dance much now because it makes me uncomfortable. But I suppose at that age, you don't have to worry about looking silly when you dance. It was perfect and I want to be them when I grow up.

Oh also, our blushing bride did the Dougie. On her own accord. Because she is seriously that awesome. We also totally bonded with another work friend's girlfriend and I suspect he had been keeping her from us for that reason. Now he HAS to hang out with us outside of work.

Bestie Jenn. We always take a couples picture
because that's never weird for anyone.

The man. He wants to marry the shit out of
me but not yet and THAT'S OKAY.

So pretty right now.
Open bar, so you know...

Much better. Jenna & Jenn. Don't get confused.
We live in a 5 block radius of one another.

Joined by our new friend. She fits right in!

And after all of that, Sunday was this:

Isn't that a sight? We didn't move. Only for food. And J drank out of Justin's cup all day because she was too lazy to walk to get her own water. He got all weird about it and I'm like, she's just resourceful JEEZ. I'd let him drink out of my cup (not anymore probably...). I'm clearly tired and rambling. These weekends do that to me.

A severe case of the weekends.

Why, oh WHY is it not the weekend yet? Earlier this week, time was fa-ha-lying by and now I swear three weeks have passed before it turned into Friday. I am super excited for this weekend's events but also completely overwhelmed by the timeline in which they will be accomplished. Friday night we are celebrating Emily's birthday at Medieval Times and last time we went, this happened:

Yes, that is chicken skin. Cable Guy wasn't all bad.

In conclusion, I am equally excited and horrified to find out what happens this time. This CASE OF THE WEEKENDS has totally fried my brain, so you get some linkage today.

Aminals! 

Ice Cube, as told by cats.

Did you know HuffPost has an entire page dedicated to cats and cat related things?

And to prove I'm not entirely biased, dog shaming. Okay, so I am biased.

Faves Posts of the Week

The Everywherist kills it with this one.

Miss Erin totally made me PMP (pee my pants, for those of you playing at home).

Randomness

The only three dance moves you need to know. Ever.

Someone needs to buy me this sweater.

And holy neatness! The Smithsonian is pinning! (I pin too! If you're in to that sort of thing...)

My weekends are itching. I've got to deal with this problem. Hopes yours is equally amazing/horrifying!

In which I make a terrible mistake.

For the past two days I have been dizzy, nauseous, tired, and weepy. And shut your dirty mouth right now there is not anything spawning inside of me. I'm trying to be serious here! I slept A LOT Sunday and then watched the saddest and best documentaries I've ever seen, Dear Zachary. Now let me tell you, it was emotional. But I was CRY-ING. Like, let me pause this part so I can sob for four minutes type of crying.  I chalked it up to being overtired and the sheer intensity of the story that was being told. Then I went up to see the man after he had been in Vegas for two days and I immediately melted into tears when I walked through the door. Because that damn documentary was SO SAD, right?

I left work after two hours on Monday because I was shaky, tired, and seriously weepy. After sleeping for about four hours, I laid in bed thinking what the fuck is going on. And then, DING DING DING. I tried to remember the last time I took my Effexor and could not remember. Mystery, solved. And dear god I am kicking myself in the ass right now because I feel absolutely terrible and it is entirely my fault. It was a busy weekend and I simply forgot.

I've tried to quit taking antidepressants several times in my life and have failed miserably each time because well, you just aren't supposed to do that. But my biggest fear is that even if I want to slowly taper off, all of the above will be every day of my life. And isn't that just awful? I am happier than I can ever remember but I am completely dependent on a pill for my stability. I know, I know. You quit them. Your friend did it. Your mom's cousin's best friend did it. I get it. I just can't.

At least not right now. I've taken some major strides to help with the anxiety side of the issue but even sometimes that comes around and bites me in the ass. Which leads to a similar spiral. I was doing so well, what happened?

Nothing happened. This is not conditional, it is who I am. I will continue to change as much as I can in my life to ease the effects. And I will hopefully never again forget to take my pills this many days in a row.

A three-hour tour...

I'm finding it incredibly hard to believe that this weekend is over. Forgive me if I sound a little grouchy. I haven't gotten this much sun since 2003. Two days in a row in the sun? I'm a goner.

Saturday we celebrated Justin's best friend's birthday (also Justin, for those of you playing at home) by riding around in a boat on the bay, drinking beer, and stopping at bars to drink beer. It was incredible. It was a beautiful and breezy San Diego day spent with hilariously enjoyable company. I'd love to tell you more, but I don't remember many details.

The winningest shirt ever.

The winningest boyfriend ever.

Saturday night, bestfriend cousin arrived with tiny cousin godchild Riley. Jmeoww was thrilled to have the company of a tiny human and expressed her happiness by hissing. Every 3 minutes. She is such a pleasant creature. She also jumped out of the window onto the bed to stare down Mandy, just in case we forgot who was really in charge. By morning, this is what poor little Riley felt she had to do to protect herself. We really need to work on being nice to company...

While Mandy was at a bridal shower, Riley & I went to the zoo where we met up with my sister, my niece and my nephew. I hadn't seen any of these little monsters in nearly a month and I was dying to see them! While the zoo seemed like a good idea, it in fact was not.

These little things make my heart infinitely happy.

Besides the fact that it was one-million degrees outside, the World Famous San Diego Zoo also happens to be the most confusing place on the planet. It was also built on a very hilly terrain. So as you are trying to figure out how to find the damn hippos even though the sign is telling you to go six different directions, you have to choose to fly down a very steep hill or truck up the opposite direction. All in the middle of a jungle setting. With birds. They even FORCE you to go through an aviary at one point. Filled with giant, disgusting birds flying at your head. It's a little frustrating. And by frustrating I mean awful. And because we were situated at the center of the sun, the animals were smart enough to stay in the shade out of our view. Bold move, animals.

Needless to say, it wasn't the best idea to go to the zoo in the middle of summer. However the kids had a great time, and I got to have some love time with all of my babies. And that's all that really matters.

Linking up with Join the Gossip, Sami's Shenanigans, & five30three for Weekend Update!