the jmeoww diaries: V.14

I know you all are wondering about Justin and I and the wedding and everything that has happened since. But I really know that anything that has happened in our lives is far less interesting than anything that has happened in hers...

It's totally okay, I accept that you all are here for her. While she did not actually make it to the wedding, she was there in spirit in the form of cardboard cutouts at the photobooth. She was a hit, as always.

Probably the next biggest thing to her unofficial marriage to Justin was moving to a new apartment. The entire process of finding a place, packing, moving, and unpacking is incredibly stressful for the humans. But for the meoww, she has her own story to tell.

Justin and I both had requirements for our new apartment. Must have a washer and dryer. Must have A/C. Must feel like a castle. And so on. But the one qualifier that got us the oddest looks from the apartment managers was an enclosed patio on the second floor. For our cat. A CATIO, if you will. Imagine us telling eight different apartment managers that their patio/balcony was in fact not good enough for our cat. We knew that for our sanity and hers, she needed to go outside in a safe, enclosed space. She had spent nearly three years expending pent up energy and anger out on that patio and also creeping out the neighbors. She LOVED that patio. And the thought of taking that away from her made us feel like terrible humans. So our new place would have to have a catio.

Well, turns out human needs trumped hers for once and she did not get the perfect catio. There is a small balcony, but it is concrete rather than fencing or railing and we imagined we could make it work. We will build a weather-proof cat tower that is tall enough for her to see the world! We will make this work and feel like less terrible humans!

But we haven't needed to build said dangerous cat tower because this glorious apartment has one thing that our old place didn't have for her: WINDOWS. The cave that we previously lived in had a sliding glass door and two bedroom windows that were blocked by our TV and dresser. But this castle? ALL THE WINDOWS. She can see the world from the air-conditioned indoors and peep on the neighbors just fine! Windows completely eliminated the need for the actual outside world. And us humans could feel a little less guilty.

The one tiny hangup with this perfect situation? Her fatass didn't know how to jump up on windowsills. Three months later, you guys, she still takes a spill every now and then and I die. Just die. Her intial attempts at getting up on the windowsill involved jumping straight up and using her claws to cling on to the ledge and just hang there while I scrambled to try to get a photo. Which was great for the new coat of paint. Then she learned she needed to launch all 14-pounds of her bad self up and onto the ledge but at the right speed as to not slam her face into the glass. I TRIED TO FILM IT, I DID. It was quite possibly my favorite part of moving. Jmeoww learning how to use windowsills, who would've thought.

Justin just discovered this picture on his phone and I can't stop cackling about it. It could not be more perfect.

To ease her troubles a bit her non-legal husband Justin decided to purchase yet ANOTHER piece of cat furniture which he said he would never have in his home. A nearly four foot tower that is her vessel of relaxation but also used for creeping on the neighbors. You guys I swear 6 nights a week she is up in the tower either watching us or watching the neighbors. I legitimately thought the neighbors were going to complain because she just. sits. there. And she doesn't just sit. She loooooounges. Full meow relaxation in her queen tower. Limbs poking out of the climbing hole, leg stretched out over the side. Sometimes she clings to the edge and looks down like she has never been up that high ever. And every now and then she gets in an epic battle with her tail or the tower or both. And we will pause the TV to watch it play out, because marriage.

So basically, jmeoww's life has been pretty darn great. Her only complaint is that we aren't in the same room with her at all times, and also where are the kibbles?

Until next time, jmeoww fans!

Step 1: Insert title

Approximately one hour and nine minutes have passed since I sat down to write this. Rather than write something, I have spent: 45 minutes on Amazon looking for a birthday gift; 10 minutes scrolling through my Facebook feed and rolling my eyes; 5 minutes applying to volunteer for the cat adoption center at Petco; and 9 minutes watching jmeoww kill dead the toys I place on her tower just to get her riled up.

Basically what I am trying to say is THIS IS HARD. I have every intention of writing again and sharing our ridiculous and sometimes mundane lives with you but you should see how hilariously violent that cat gets when the sushi toy is on her tower.

I have intentions and things to say. Can we call this a baby step? Yes, lets.

ps - can someone tell me how to make my blog titles UN-green?

pps - yes, jmeoww has moved into a tower and we can't wait to tell you more about it.

testing...

...is this thing on?

STAY TUNED (the three of you that still maybe possibly have me in your blog reader!)!!!!!!

things we need less of.

I spend a lot of time browsing the internet. WHAT. Totally surprising, I know. Next thing you know I'm going to be admitting that I like cats or that I'm getting married.

So throughout my browsing, I see a ton, more like a SHIT ton of tutorials and recipes. And some of them are incredibly helpful. Such as the one that taught me how to easily remove labels from glass bottles. Or the one that taught me how to make tissue tassel garland (helpful, although not easy).

And then some of these tutorials and recipes can best be described as...remedial. FOR INSTANCE, I present to you tutorials and recipes that we need less of.

• TOAST, four ways!
• A different take on the braid (you can show me 27 different french braid tutorials and I still won't be able to do it).
• THE BEST, no really the best ever best mac n' cheese.
• How to stock a bar/coffee cart! <- but what even are these and is it really that hard?
• Buns, buns, and more buns.
• The ONLY smoothie recipe you need! Then why are there 3,001 of them on pinterest? Guys, smoothies: a green, some fruit, liquid base, and whatever seeds or powders you wish to add. It is not a science.
• Cauliflower pizza crust. More like cauliflower not even a little bit like fucking pizza crust so no.
• Painting or glittering bottles, jars, and/or terracota pots. APPLY PAINT TO VESSEL. BOOM. 

Truth be told, the toast was what sent me over the edge and inspired this post. It is fucking bread. That you put in a machine. And put a variety of other tasty things on top of. Again not deserving of its own masters program.

Basically, I spend too much time online. What tutorials and recipes have you had enough of? 

obsession confessions.

Hi, hi, HI THERE. Surprised? Me too. I have good news and bad news. So much bad news, I know, I know. But listen, the bad news is that Justin is working mega-overtime on weeknights and I am considering myself a temporary gaming industry widow. The good news is that I have a lot of time on my hands to do things other than stare at him...like write an actual blog post! Yes, I just told you that you are my second choice. SURPRISED AGAIN?

Beyond the fiance's OT, my own job has been NUTS lately so we are both dealing with a lot of stress. And also still this:

That THING is adapting to a new vet-recommended diet and also dealing with the loss of her precious Justin time. Last night as all three of us laid in bed (yes all three of us, she just really misses her Justin...), I was crying like a pms-d out moron and jmeoww was trying to bite Justin's feet and hissing at him and then I just started laughing maniacally. WE ARE ALL SLOWLY LOSING OUR MINDS.

So basically, to remind myself that life is generally fantastic and that there are things that I love and worth not running away for, I decided to just splooge them all over this here blog.

1. True Detective — aka the new thing to always be talking about. Guys, it is everything the world says it is. Those men are incredible. Two more episodes to go and I might actually really have a panic attack during them. SO GOOD.
2. Cosmos: A Space-Time Odyssey — It's no secret that I am a science loving geekface and the reboot of Cosmos (March 9th!!!!!!!) is just absolutely everything to me, and also Justin. His deep love for King Carl Sagan has reached my heart as well and we are going to geek out so incredibly hard for this. And NdGT is just the absolute best person alive for this show. That's his official nickname.
3. Beck — Is that Beck on my blog? Dear god, it is. It really is. This is what happens when I accidentally look at Pitchfork every once and a while. But really, this album is quite wonderful. I've never been a Beck fan, but I am totally into this. Hear for yourself!
   
   
                            
4. Brown Rice Triscuits — And then I also blogged about triscuits. THESE ARE LIFE CHANGING. They are all I want to eat. The sea salt and black pepper variety. With cheese. Do it. 
5. Clarisonic Mia2 — also life changing. I am finally paying attention to skin that I should've been caring for since basically forever. And thanks to some Christmas gift cards, this little treasure has entered my life. I've only been using it for a week or so, but I love it. And yes, I am aware of what it looks like...
6. Trader Joe's Lavender Lotion — Fact: I am obsessed with lavender lotion. I always use it at night. So when my last bottle (from the lavender farm an hour away) ran out, I panicked because I knew I would never find anything as lovely again. Enter Trader Joe's and this $5ish bottle. So lovely. So cost-effective. 

Remember that time I included triscuits in a collage? It is truly the little things, my friends. The little things that keep us sane and happy. What are your current obsessions? (non-creepy only, please. I'm looking at you, Higgins...)