freeze! jk please don't.

How is it even possible that weatherpocalypse occurred AFTER my beloved social media guide? Thanks a lot for that, atmosphere. The socials medias are losing their damn minds over this insane weather — only rightfully so for the people experiencing it.

via buzzfeed.

And then you have your Californian assholes like myself that are SWEATING. No, I am not an abnormal sweater-er, but when you wake up and it is 40 degrees out, you dress for 40 degrees not the 78 degrees that you end up spending your day in. We suffer, in our own ways. I am suffering by not being able to wear all of my cute scarves and sweaters that I knew I needed because last January we had our very own weatherpocalypse which required me to wear thermals AND sweaters. And socks with TOMS because that is how I roll. Even though I do that on most normal days due to my suspected poor circulation. The struggle, you guys.

There is a point to this post, I promise. My point is taken from a Facebook status from a cousin of mine that is suffering through this insanity in the Midwest. She said something closely related to: We don't mock your earthquakes, hurricanes, wildfires, and heatwaves!

And then my sweaty heart broke a little bit and I wanted to send every single one of my Midwestern and otherwise abnormally chilly friends a nice toasty and moist sweaty hug to get them through this. Except for the Shitlers because they are having far too much fun in their -16 degree wonderland. Or so snapchat tells me.

But if one more person, JUST ONE spouts the phrase "SO MUCH FOR GLOBAL WARMING" I will literally spew carbon dioxide from my own pores and cause my very own localized climate catastrophe.

Midwestern and otherwise abnormally chilly friends — HANG IN THERE! And don't ever forget how you've been treated when those heat waves come along and we all start bitching about it — we deserve your wrath!