Bricks & Bottles

Justin's birthday was technically Thursday but as he found out, in my world birthdays last a week. Because when my special day comes along, we celebrate like it's Hanukkah. But with more than eight candles, obviously.

Happiness is VIP parking for Volvos. Not only are we elite,
but also the safest drivers on the road mofos.

So Saturday we went to Legoland. Now why would two grown-ass adults choose to go to a place that is clearly designed for children? Because I had free tickets. Because folks, my loving lovable boyfriend is a geek that enjoys all sorts of geekery including LEGO and Star Wars. It's okay, he knows. And, not to be outgeeked, Legoland features a SeaLife Aquarium which I was totally pumped to visit because they have a new CLAWS exhibit of freakish crabs that I peed my pants over. There was geekery for both of us. 

Japanese spider crabs. AKA BIG ASS CRABS.

This is the bad guy, right?

We spent most of our time in Star Wars miniland where Justin reverted back to, well every day of his life because it's a joy that has never gone away. I asked a million questions that I would probably know the answers to had I actually watched the movies instead of falling asleep. I also tried my hardest not to laugh too loud at the little kids that were geeking out at the same level that my beloved boyfriend was. It was definitely one of those relationship moments where you realize, this is now my life. And it was awesome.

We also spent a significant amount of time in the biggest gift store which Justin kept apologizing for but, hello. SHOPPING. Not a problem! They sell mini-figures in a surprise package so you don't know which one you are getting and because I'm a sucker for those types of things, we bought two of them. I ALWAYS end up with the dumbest option and get super pissed and vow never to buy a stupid grab bag item again. This time, however, Justin got the one that he wanted and I ended up with a bride. A BRIDE. I get it, Legoland. 

It wouldn't be a proper birthday celebration without beer, beer, and more beer so we stopped in The Lost Abbey on the way home (Inspired Beer for Saint & Sinners Alike. It's like it was made for us.) Unknown to us, The Lost Abbey was having it's annual Christmas in July celebration. Meaning, SANTA! Meaning we had to pay to get in, but we were still able to enjoy some amazing brews and of course choose a couple to take home. Which of course, I am drinking right now and blogging in between Star Wars episodes IV-VI. Or as Justins calls it calls it, The Best Birthday Ever. 

I call this, "The Drunken Elf."
Attractive, I know.

Two of the best beers I've ever tasted.

Linking up with the lovely ladies of Join the Gossip, Sami's Shenanigans, and five30three for their weekend update bloghop.

It's a Mexican drinking worm...

If you immediately get what this post title is referencing, you are my best friend forever. If not, get a life. But here's a little help:

So anyways, I got a tattoo! Meet my little Khaleesi (I just really wanted to name something that...):

Please disregard my cankle.

Yes, that is right on the ankle bone. The inspiration came from two places: My dearest friend Jenna, and because we felt like it. Why an octopus? Her eight arms represent the eight sides to my soul. Just kidding. She really doesn't have any profound meaning. Well, I am a scientist (not really, but that's what my friends call me because they don't understand what I do for a living) and cephalopods are really fucking cool. Octopuses are definitely one of my favorite marine invertebrates and I'd list the reasons why, but then I would be showcasing my severe nerdiness for the world to see. Although I try to stay out of the ocean as much as I can, my deep love for what lies beneath has brought me to where I am in life today. Everything happens for a reason. Live, laugh, love. Profound yet?

We highly recommend Above All Tattoo
in Pacific Beach.

Khaleesi is my third tattoo and she joins the tiniest star in the world (on my other foot) and my "keep calm & carry on" crown on my ribs (THAT I GOT BEFORE IT WAS COOL, THANKS). The star was my first tattoo, that I got against my mother's wishes. Although I was 23 and it is no bigger than a dime, she still refused to talk to me on my birthday when I revealed it to her. Even though she has a tattoo now (I held her hand and gave her booze as I held on to the memory of the time she gave me the silent treatment on my birthday for doing the exact same thing), she still pretends to be mad when we get more. She tried to ground me last night even though I don't live anywhere near home and I am 29 years old. Nice try, mom.

Fancy Friday: Summer Weddings x 5

Hey, have you heard? I have 5 weddings to attend this summer! FIVE! Now I'm not complaining about the actual weddings. I love weddings. It's kind of sick how much I love weddings. And open bars. I'm complaining about how many times I have to dress my ass up and try not to look like a total hot mess.

HENCE. Incorrect. Therefore, below you will see two of the dresses I've already purchased. Aren't they fucking adorable? I can't wait to spill beer on them. Now, because I'm financially challenged, I thought I could kill two birds with one stone here and get one pair of shoes to match both dresses. What do you think? Do any of my options fit both dresses appropriately? I'm bad at matching shoes to dresses mostly because my feet are so far down my long ass legs I forget about them. And one dress is satin and one is not and I don't know if that's okay for the shoes and holy shit I just got stressed again. Help me. Please.

I'd also like to minimize the amount of accessories I add to my ever-growing ridiculous jewelry collection. Can any of these bracelets pull double duty? Please say the bow bracelet. The bow bracelet, right?

Linking up with {av} of Long Distance Loving for Friday's Fancies!

Adventures of the Cousins: The Road Trip

Casual-seductive pose with a telescope at Meteor Crater.

10 years ago, my bestfriend cousin and I embarked on a road trip across America with a final destination of Key Largo. Take a moment to reread that sentence and absorb everything that is wrong with it. A 17-year old and a 19-year old drove nearly 3,000 miles across the country (including THE SOUTH) in a Pontiac Sunfire in the middle of July. The idea for this trip was based on the fact that our moms used to drive back and forth between Minnesota and California all of the time when they were young and if they did it so could we! 

Our first stop after a full day of driving was somewhere in New Mexico. Unremarkable, except for the time when Mandy lost the car keys and then thought she locked them in the car so we called Triple A to find out they were in fact not in the car but actually the front pocket of her suitcase the entire time. Our other nighttime sleeping stops included Oklahoma City, New Orleans, & Port St. Lucie, Florida. We made it a point to stop at any ridiculously cheesy roadside attraction that we passed. This led us to get lost in ghetto Jurassic Park in Arizona. And to Meteor Crater in Arizona which, as one other crater patron put it is "a big ass hole." But seriously, it really is kind of astonishing now that I think about it. In Oklahoma City we set aside time to stop at the memorial which is absolutely breathtaking. We spent quite a bit of time reflecting and reading the messages there until some asshole honked at Mandy because apparently she looked damn sexy being all emotional. In Texas we saw a lot of trees. Texas is stupid.


My favorite driving moment happened somewhere in the middle of Texas, I think. As we were driving down a seemingly endless highway, a bible camp van ended up next to us and oh my god if those boys weren't staring at us like they had never seen female flesh before. So we're laughing, which of course makes them stare more and little did they know we were approaching THE LARGEST CROSS IN THE COUNTRY (alledgedly). Which I suspect was the entire purpose of their bible camp. At this point, it's not funny anymore and they were legitimately going to miss the cross so Mandy yells, "Look at the fucking cross!" And because I was sure they heard us through the closed window, I sped away hoping they were not cursing our Pontiac Sunfire and that they would pray for our depraved souls. 

Former home of Ernest Hemingway.
He didn't have A/C. But I had a sarong so its cool.

Once we made finally made it to Key Largo, our first order of business was to go use Mandy's fake ID to buy alcohol, naturally. Of course a 17-year old would pass for a 26-year old. And of course she did! Our second liquor stop will go down in history as one of our favorite moments ever. The older gentlemen who probably owned the store asked to see both of our IDs and while I was stuttering and stammering for an excuse he starting cracking up and was like, "OF COURSE you guys are old enough! I'm just giving you a hard time." OF COURSE!

If you travel anywhere with Mandy, she makes friends (Her life quote, "Hi! My name is Mandy!"). Lucky for us, she made a friend that was a butcher (totally safe) at the Winn-Dixie and he was helpful in so many ways. He got us into Coco-Nuts Nightclub (AKA Coco-Sluts), got us into his brother's bar after hours so we could drink straight from a beer tap, and helped us fix the car when it suddenly died. He kindly told us, "Maybe y'all just got some bad gas"...to which we replied, "Were you following us? How do you know that?" He also taught us an important lesson about putting a vehicle in "park" while "parked" at a gas station. Do it, or else your car rolls backwards and hits some snotty family and the two underage drunk girls that you have with you will have to go hide in the liquor store and help the old man working there stock the shelves until the cops are gone.

And of course, we did all of the things that we told our mothers we were doing which was the purpose of our entire trip. We snorkeled. We saw Christ of the Abyss. We toured Key West (and vowed to one day go back when we were legitimately of age and that one day still hasn't happened!). We took one million and four pictures and learned as much as we could. More importantly, we laughed a hell of a lot and still do when we reflect on this trip. We strengthened an already 17-year old friendship that is bound to last a lifetime. And no, our children will absolutely NOT be able to replicate our journey.

Music: Something old, Something new

As I wrote the title to this I realized how much I hate it. The title that is. Music I love and want to marry. Is that legal? I hope so. I want something more sparkly and catchy. Like, "Music: Fuck yea!" Or, "Music: It's What's Dinner." Point being, it needs some love.

Moving on. This week's post is dedicated to a group that I am absolutely enamored with. The Icelandic indie folk group Of Monsters and Men stole my heart with their song "Little Talks." The lyrics, combined with the loveliness of the male and female (Raggi & Nanna!) voices melted me into a puddle of slushy feelings and oh god why won't anyone love me, I'm going to be alone together with this stupid cat and I hate my life! Thank god that's over with.

Ahem. Moving on, again. Their album My Head is an Animal is flawless. I listen to it nearly all day in the office and it doesn't upset me to hear it again at home, which is a rare gift of an album. I could keep talking about their greatness, but I am going to offer you one more song to let you hear for yourself. That's right. I'm telling you what to do. Another favorite, "Dirty Paws." And this video happens to be amazingly rad.

Are you in love yet?