oops...I did it again.

You know how some people have THE WORST DAY EVER because their nail breaks and o em gee I spilled coffee and poor me I need a mental health day! LOL!

You've heard that before, right?

To that I say, fuck your mental health day.

Monday...Monday I needed a real mental health day. It took everything...every ounce of my being to stay seated in my office and not bolt out to my car and speed home and build a fort under the covers and remain there until Justin forced me to come out and eat dinner. And no, I am not being an overdramatic nail-breaking, coffee-spilling, fml type person.

It's just that. Well. I forgot to take my pills. Again.

I know. We've been here before. But <insert excuse related to drinking too much here> and <insert excuse about falling asleep on the couch here>. I fucked up, and I fucked myself up. My emotional reactions to normal life annoyances have been THROUGH THE ROOF. Meaning I cried my way out of a family party Saturday night because a girl that was missing a tooth cut in front of me at the bar and I was like she's not even cute because she doesn't have all her teeth and what is the point of those braces? And my family and friends were like, whoa. Nice about it. But like, whoa.

And you just can't. You can't even explain it because you are not yourself and you won't be for a few days. So when you return to work on Monday and shit is flying all over the place because of typical incompetencies? Holy sweet jesus, brace yourself and don't you dare make direct eye contact with me because I will cry all over you.

So I don't feel bad that you broke a nail. Or that you coughed. Or that your husband didn't get you the right type of soda or whatever the fuck is it that people complain about every five fucking minutes. I don't feel bad for you, because you can fix it and change it immediately. You can change your situation. 

I just have to sit and wait until the medication starts filling up the holes in my system again and I become stable. So until then, I will sit and look at pretty pictures and silly animal pictures (thanks, Shannon!) and remember that it will get better. Soon.