that voodoo magic.

On this day one year ago I was in New Orleans with my LP Leeann, which you can read about right here. Long story short, this happened.

Don Draper, I am not.

One thing I didn't really talk much about at the time, because if you tell secrets they don't come true, was about our trip to the Bottom of the Cup Tea Room. Where we got a psychic reading. From tea leaves.

Okay, first of all this cost three times as much as I expected AND I didn't even get to drink any tea. However, my psychic...she was psychic. She was about 117 years old and a completely crazy, Southern jewel. My 10-minute reading turned into a 30-minute conversation in which she predicted a future for me that in a few short weeks CAME TRUE. And I never, ever would've imagined so.

I walked out a little shell-shocked (but secretly hopeful) to a completely stone-faced Leeann, who had a terrible reading. Terrible as in her lady missed every single mark she tried.

At the time of this reading, Justin and I were in relationship purgatory. But this woman, this treasure knew that our love would blossom and that he would be in my life. She said, "Next year when you visit for Jazzfest, you bring him by to say 'hello!'" And while I didn't go to Jazzfest this year (because it is a special type of hell), I should at least write her a letter telling her that she is in fact psychic, in case she ever doubts herself. Do I have to, or does she already know that she was right? Unclear how far her psychic abilities travel.

I also decided to get into voodoo whilst in NOLA because that is what one does. The voodoo shops are not tourist friendly, at all. They are actually downright terrifying and the shopkeepers enjoy being rude to you. But damn it if I didn't want to get a voodoo love candle (specifically the hummingbird one...one must be specific in casting magic love spells, okay?). So I did, and although I never lit it (because Leeann had convinced me it would explode) I prominently displayed it on my bookcase and longingly stared at it. Which also worked.

Those that know me well know that I don't believe in many things, but psychic readings and love spells are now on the list of things I sure as hell do believe in. And I have a wonderful trip to New Orleans to thank for that.

And now my boyfriend knows that he was magically tricked into this relationship using voodoo magic and everything else short of an animal sacrifice. Thank god he gave in before that occurred...

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The Meowpocalypse is coming. Don't you forget it.

Meowpocalypse: The Link-up

Friends. Fans. Lovers. Today is a big day.

Today is the day we (Queen Jmeoww Consuela Gee and Tiff Gee) invite you to share YOUR stories with us. We have entertained you with our antics for nearly a year now and while therapeutic, we can only handle so much.

This is your chance to shine. Do you have a cat that is a complete terror? That pees itself or requires sedatives to visit the vet? Do you have a dog that eats trash, underwear, or other non-digestable items? Or a hedgehog that is just a complete asshole? Llamas are also welcome.

Next Thursday, May 2nd we will share our stories in one safe place. And all hold hands and remember that sometimes our pets are the boss of us whether we like it or not.


<center> <a href=" http://polkadottedcats.blogspot.com "><br /> <img src="http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b364/starlette425/meowwpac_button.jpg" border="0/><br /> </a></center> *Open to pets of all kinds, EVEN BIRDS. Linkup will go live Thursday, May 2nd.*

allergies on allergies.

I used to make fun of people who cited "Seasonal Allergies" as a medical concern on health history forms. And now I am suffering from them worse than I ever have. SERVES ME RIGHT.

A few weeks ago I whined about my heart palpitations and how they were making me majorly cray-zay. Like holy shit I am going to die at any moment now, crazy. Well, lucky for you I am still here. And through the power of SCIENCE! and EXPERIMENTATION! Justin and I have narrowed down the cause of my "condition." I am allergic to allergy pills (Claritin and Zyrtec, so far). How that is even possible or fair, I have yet to find out.

I have been taking benadryl at night so that I can sleep and wake up with the ability to breathe without sounding like Notorious B.I.G. and it turns me into a complete moron the next day.

Which is a really long way of saying that I don't have a post for you today. Just a really long excuse why I don't have a comprehensible post. Because I am allergic to SEASONS and also the medication to treat them.

However. HOW-EVER. Thursday, as in this Thursday two days from now I have something big for you guys. Something (that doesn't involve a white dress or my uterus) that will change your life and the world of blogging forever. So if you'll excuse me now, I'm going to crawl back in my benadryl haze and continue pretending to be a dragon.

Whoopsies.

Hi there. Consider this a fail post. I was too busy drinking all of the wine at a wine tasting party and eating all of the cheese at said party to do a proper Friday summary for you. So instead, I present you this:

That spectacular photoshop job was done by none other than Justin, available for hire! Come to think of it, he should've photoshopped his head over Christoph Waltz, because I mean that is how those two roll. 

Be kind to each other, yea? Cheers to the weekend!

all about me...

Shanna from Flip Flop Life and Lisa from One Red Shoe were kind enough to nominate me for a Liebster Award. Which means I still have less than 200 followers. Just kidding. It means they are incredibly sweet and now I have to tell you things about myself.

Rather than list 22 things and answer 22 questions, I will be kind and only make you read 11 random facts about me. Because I am a rebel and also it has been a while since I played this game.

1. I've read blogs longer that I've had one. Just call me the hipster of blogging. Seven years, to be exact. My first blog was Dooce and I still read it every day. Heather Armstrong taught me it was okay to talk about mental illness in a public place. And she taught me the beautiful art of elaborate storytelling.
2. I was a camp counselor. For children. I taught children things. This still amazes me. I would probably be a teacher if I didn't have to go back to school and also if California wasn't firing teachers every few months.
3. I have a minor addiction to crime documentaries and real-life crime shows. The reenactments are pure gold. I often fall asleep to these at night, which probably isn't healthy.
4. One of my all-time favorite beers flavors is green-chile. Yea, spicccccy. I thought it only existed in Colorado until I recently discovered it in San Diego and my life was forever changed.
5. I really, really, really love Kanye West.
6. I have 3 tattoos.
7. I'm not good at making lists about myself. OKAY I AM CHEATING.
8. David Sedaris is one of my all-time favorite authors. Talk about the fine art of storytelling — his writing style is something I aspire to. His newest book comes out next week!
9. I have an irrational fear of things starting on fire. Like a coffee machine, or crock pot. So when I start my morning coffee and then go take a shower, the entire time my brain is thinking that the coffee pot somehow malfunctioned and now the apartment is burning down and jmeoww can't alert Justin because I've shut the bedroom door so I don't wake him up BUT AT LEAST I WILL BE CLEAN.
10. I have an irrational hatred of beans. Except for green beans and soy beans. I can't be around beans of any other kind. They disgust me. I am sure they taste great to you. To that I say, you and your beans can get a room.
11. I still watch cartoons. Not that Adventure Time horseshit. The Cleveland Show is where it's at.

If I could properly express to you how difficult those 10.5 facts were to divulge, I would. Apparently I don't like writing about myself...let's psychologize on that for a moment...Not really. Let's laugh at this totally douchey picture of me instead.

And there you have it. This is all me in one weird little nutshell. 

Thanks again for the nominations, ladies!