Friday, June 29, 2012

A Magical Night

Last night, at 12:01 to be exact, I had the privilege to view one of the greatest cinematic masterpieces since Titanic with a group of seven classy, sober ladies.* I apologize if you're unfamiliar with this film, and I hope this review doesn't bore you.

Magic Mike is about young men trying to find their way in life. Oh who the hell are we kidding? Magic Mike is about MALE STRIPPERS. And the point of the entire movie is the stripping. And gyrating. And asses. So many asses. Does anything else matter? Full disclosure, I've been to a male stripper performance once (okay fine, twice) in my life and it makes me seriously uncomfortable. Am I the only one who doesn't like sweaty man parts thrusted in my face? Shut up, all of you.

My true love ladyboner was for Joe Manganiello (for the love of god, google him). Also known as Alcide on True Blood. Also known as a national treasure. Unfortunately he was only a supporting character. But still supported my ladyboner. There were some other men in the movie too.

I went into this movie lukewarm about Channing Tatum and Matthew Mcconaughey. Not impressed, ever. I left the movie with a little spark in my pants heart for both of them. Channing Tatum can real life dance. While his character doesn't have much depth (see above, depth not required), he plays him well and is very charming. And dear god, he makes sweatpants look gooood. Matthew Mcconaughey. I never felt the love. However. Because the character he plays in this movie is the closest thing to what he is probably like in real life, he won me over. Narcissistic, sweaty, bongo-drum-playing, assless-pants-wearing, sweaty, and flame throwing. I suspect they didn't even give him a script. "Hey, Matthew! Want to be in this movie? No, no acting. Just do you. Bring your own clothes." PERFECT. Nailed it.

If you take Magic Mike for what it's worth, you will have a hell of a time. We giggled a lot. We blushed a lot. Also, male strippers.

*False. Far from classy. Farther from sober. I'm also not sure if Titanic is considered a cinematic masterpiece. Doubt it.

13 comments:

  1. I can't wait!! Did you see Joe on Watch What Happens Live on Bravo the other night? He was such a cutie! HE even danced it was so funny!

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  2. This is without a doubt the best blog post I've ever read in my entire life. I'm seriously fighting to not pee myself. You're cracking me up! Love this!

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  3. I already wanted to see it, but now I want to see it EVEN MORE! If you liked it, I know I will, cause I love male strip clubs & sweaty man parts in my face. haha!

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  4. Hahahahahaha, this was the best movie review I have ever read in my whole life! Other than the ones I've written. Lol. I kinda wanna see this now! Ok, I really wanna see it!

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  5. Best review I have read of this movie by far. I'm going to see it tomorrow night. Hubby was a bit nervous about it til I made him realize this pretty much GUARANTEES that he'll be getting laid pretty much the second I get home from this.

    On another note... I'm not really sure I get the whole male stripper thing either... I don't want sweaty flopping man parts in my face either. Those abs though... I just wanna lick em... YUM.

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  6. I am pretty sure that there was passion in people's pants created everywhere Friday night.

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  7. Love this post, you had me laughing out loud!! I am planning a girl's night for this movie and will be taking it for what it's worth :) So glad I found your blog & am your newest follower!

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  8. Hilarious girl! I'm not a Matthew Mcconaughey fan either. He just doesn't do it for me. This looks like it may be a renter for me:) Thanks so much for your sweet comments on my Versatile Swim Suit post!
    www.winetastegirl.com

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  9. I just came across your blog via Carissa Explains it All and love it!!! HA I'm dying laughing over the "sweaty mans part line!" While I haven't seen any male strippers in action, I know I'd be thinking the same thought.

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  10. I love this review. I honestly just wanted to see hot bods and am even more in love with Alex Pettyfer now. I do love Channing's dancing. Might have to rewatch Step Up now

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  11. I'm dying. I actually watched Magic Mike with MY MOM. I have no idea what the hell I was thinking. It was hands down the most awkward experience of my life.

    This also makes me think I need to write about my experience at the male strip club. Possibly the second most awkward experience of my life.

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  12. I love movies, but I've always preferred watching them at home. Seeing Magic Mike was BY FAR my favorite movie-going experience OF. ALL. TIME. Love this post!

    (PS you're not alone-the thought of strange sweaty naked men dancing any closer to me than via a movie screen makes my stomach turn. Bleargh)

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