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| This may have caused some of the behavioral issues. |
World, meet the JMEOWW. Why yes, I did name my kitten after JWOWW. It was funny at the time. I have been paying for it ever since.
You see, J (or The Meoww as she is also commonly referred to) isn't just any cat. She came from humble beginnings (meaning, feral) and lost her mother at too young of an age. She also lost her brother that I had chosen to raise as well. By "lost" I mean we think she murdered him. The loss of Doogie Meowser, M.D. will forever be one of the greatest mysteries in our lives. So needless to say, homegirl has some issues.
My decision to get a kitten was not made lightly. Especially since at the time I was single and I didn't want to hear everyone's shit about becoming a crazy cat lady. I NEVER intended to be one of "those people." But you guys, I so am. And it's not because of the cute things that she does. It's because if I don't talk about the havoc she causes in my life, the trauma, the injuries, I will hold it all inside and end up in therapy. She is the weirdest animal I've ever known. Do I love her dearly? Absolutely. Is she completely dominate over me to the point in which she knows I am sometimes afraid of her? Yes. Have I thought about giving her xanax? Several times. We are currently testing a pheromone calming collar and I'm not sure how well it's working. She's been slightly less vocal and a bit less violent. I'd like her to be at a level of ZERO VIOLENCE. So maybe more collars. And a hat. A tiny, calming hat. My point is, I will be telling stories of The Meoww here. They are often too hilarious not to share.
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| We should've seen the warning signs from a young age. |
Aliases: J, The Meoww, JJ
DOB: August 28th, 2011
Place of Birth: An abandoned house in the rough streets of La Mesa, California
Relatives: Deceased (cause unknown...)
Likes: Fuzzy blankie, tempurpedic pillow, OCTOPUS! magnet, the taste of blood
Dislikes: You, the vaccuum, phones, rational thought
Hobbies: Meowing, chasing ankles, attacking the TV, hoarding trash
Place of Birth: An abandoned house in the rough streets of La Mesa, California
Relatives: Deceased (cause unknown...)
Likes: Fuzzy blankie, tempurpedic pillow, OCTOPUS! magnet, the taste of blood
Dislikes: You, the vaccuum, phones, rational thought
Hobbies: Meowing, chasing ankles, attacking the TV, hoarding trash
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| MINE! Trash and other various treasures under my bed. |
Oh. my. word. I was laughing hysterical to the point of people looking. That cat is amazing, and hilarious, and terrifying. "Deceased (cause unknown...)" Seriously, I cannot stop laughing.
ReplyDeleteI am anxiously looking forward to reading about your cat since i see so many fear-filled post on Facebook about her!! I was laughing while reading this!!!
ReplyDeleteHahahahhahaha, I can't wait to hear more about your kitties adventures. And murders!
ReplyDeleteOK so you know I am afraid of cats. I, too, was abused by a cat as a child which resulted in me being diagnosed with Leukemia, then later finding out it was Cat Scratch Fever (I've told you this, right?).
ReplyDeleteI'm scared when I stay at Kathrin's that her cats are going to kill me in my sleep. What am I going to do the next time I stay at your place?!
Needless to say your stories scare me...but I still love that jumping action shot lol!
I've heard little bits about her but I had no idea she was so special. I love that picture where's she's flying through the air, a la crouching tiger, hidden dragon.
ReplyDeleteOh man, that picture of her leaping in the air is slightly frightening. I had two cats for the longest time. One was normal and the other was crazy (but still really sweet). I always wondered if they would turn on me. They never did though!
ReplyDeleteAmy
Fashion and Beauty Finds
You should dress her up with some big gold hoochie earrings and see if she will meow in a Jersey accent.
ReplyDelete