Not a wedding.

I feel like you come here on Mondays now expecting to read about a wedding. I'm very sorry to disappoint you this week. Come back next week, Wedding Fans.

This weekend we went to Disneyland! Why would we drive to Orange County to a crowded theme park in September during the one weekend where we could stay home and relax? Because I had free tickets. Free tickets which expired next weekend. So to Disneyland we went.

My most recent Disneyland trips have been with my niece and nephew, so it had been a while since I got to do all of the "big-kid" rides. Which I quickly learned, I am no longer comfortable with. Star Tours? I got dizzy. Space Mountain? Dizzy. Matterhorn? I'm still certain I slipped a disc. 

So after I schooled Justin in Buzz Lightyear's Astro-Blasters (A man who designs video games for a living, mind you), we headed to Downtown Disney for some food. AND BEER. Naturally.

I have decided that Disneyland is probably the #1 people watching spot in the entire world. Here are some of our observations:

• Fat kids in witty shirts. Now stop right there, it's not mean when they bring it upon themselves. One large child was wearing a shirt that said "I (heart) bacon." And the heart was made of overeasy eggs. COME ON. Another massive child was wearing a neon tye-dyed shirt stating "I'm with awesome" with an an arrow pointing up. They are simply asking for it.
• The amount of bratty little girls dressed like ghetto-ass princesses was enough to send my ovaries into permanent hiding. Some are cute. And some look quite deranged. My favorite child costume of the day was the little girl dressed like Maleficent. Because she's honest. And she probably won't grow up to be an entitled asshole.
• Bra-less foreigners.
• PIN PEOPLE. Oh my god, Justin was unfamiliar with the PIN PEOPLE and it was my favorite part of the day. Have you ever seen a large & seemingly tough tattooed man with a cherished Disneyland pin collection proudly displayed on his muscular chest? PIN PEOPLE are worth the price of admission.

And my favorite observation of the day:

• Girls who flirt with my boyfriend in front of my face. AKA complimenting his t-shirt. I get it, Dr. Who fans of the world. You are your own class of people (the ranks of which I will soon be joining). But I know, I KNOW what you are trying to do. I won't hesitate to cut a bitch.

He should be lucky I'm so protective. Ahem. That said, it was truly a lovely and magical day. And it made me genuinely happy that I have a man that will take these adventures and laugh along with me. And buy me souvenirs. Also, beer.